Lanes On Long Island

Sigh...the Postpartum Ailments List Gets Longer

2012-01-27T01:22:00.001-05:00

Hello blog world! I have been meaning to blog more. I know I always say that...and I always mean it. Life gets in the way though.

Anyway, My beautiful boy Ethan is 6 months old and getting so big. I wish time would slow down!

Along with his six month birthday comes another fun postpartum diagnosis: I have 3 small gallstones YAY!

I know gallstones can happen to anyone, but because I have never had a gallbladder issue before and I am still within a year of having a baby, my doctor feels they were definitely caused by pregnancy. In fact, she said she sees it all the time. Who knew? I haven't been feeling so great for a few months now, and gallstones can cause all the symptoms I have been having (lightheaded, headaches, bloated, etc.) So I am probably going to have my gallbladder removed. My Dr. also said if I ever want to have another child, best to get this puppy out now, since the stones were probably caused by hormones.

Here is what Baby Center has to say about pregnancy and gallstones:
During pregnancy, levels of the hormones estrogen and progesterone are higher, which inhibits the gallbladder from contracting and slows the emptying process. When bile lingers in the gallbladder, it's more likely to become concentrated and form stones. About 12 percent of women develop gallstones while they're pregnant and have significant symptoms that may then require surgical removal of the gallbladder either during pregnancy or in the immediate postpartum period.

So yea, 12%. Lucky me.

Just to recap, since I gave birth to Ethan I have:

-been part of the 1% of women that develops PUPPP after giving birth (it took 4 rounds of prednisone to clear it up.)

-developed a benign breast lump, which had to be core needle biopsied. That cancer scare was SUPER fun.

-developed mastitis, probably from the core needle biopsy.

-and now, I have flippin gallstones.

Ethan was worth it, but this kind of sucks.

2011-09-13T18:47:00.002-04:00

Cloth Diapering a Newborn: 6 Weeks

2011-09-07T22:30:00.002-04:00

Ethan is six weeks old. For four of those six weeks, we have been cloth diapering him. We have three types of diapers we've been using for the newborn stage and I thought I'd do a quick review of them in case anyone is interested, and also go over the laundry process so everyone can see how easy it really is!

This is our stash for the "newborn" stage.

We are working on our stash for the rest of Ethan's diapering now.

Diaper #1: Bum Genius 3.0 All-In-One Size XS

Fits 6-12lbs

# in stash: 8

These diapers are all-in-one meaning all you need is the one diaper (no stuffing inserts or covers.) They have an adjustable velcro closure and have a pretty low rise. For some babies, they are able to wear these diapers before their umbilical stump falls off but for Ethan, they were too high to do that. One issue we have sometimes with these diapers is leaks through the top. You have to make sure you close the tabs very tightly or you will have a very wet baby. They wash beautifully and are the least bulky cloth diaper we have. Overall we are happy with them.

Diaper #2: FuzziBunz Perfect Size Diaper XS

Fits 8-12lbs

# in stash 14

These are pocket diapers meaning you have to stuff them with an insert. They come with a microfiber one, but you can always buy your own in other absorbent materials such as hemp. They snap closed and are adjustable. With these diapers, we were initially having leakage problems through the leg holes, but as his legs have gotten chubbier, that problem has solved itself. Stuffing them is kind if annoying compared to the BG AIO's, so it's best to stuff them right out of the laundry so they are good to go when you need them.

Diaper #3: Kissaluv's Cotton Fleece Fitted Diaper Size 0

Fits: 5-15lbs

# in stash: 6

These diapers are fitted diapers. This means they need a waterproof cover in addition to the diaper. We have never had a leak with this diaper (used with the Thirsties cover below.) We were also able to use them right away because there is a snap down option so the diaper does not rub the umbilical cord stump. This diaper on its own is very bulky. Add the cover and you've got one fluffy butt! I don't view that as a negative...I think it is super cute! I have read of other Mom's complaining about bulkiness though so I thought it was worth mentioning.

Thirsties Duo Diaper Cover XS (For use w/kissaluv's)

Fits: 5-12lbs

# in stash 3

As I said, we are using these covers with the kissaluv's. Since we have had no leaks, I have no complaints.

As far as laundry goes, cloth diapering has been a breeze. We use Rockin Green Barenaked Babies Soft Rock since we have very soft water on Long Island. We bought a simple, white plastic garbage can with a lid and two Planet Wise Diaper Pail Liners. Every other day, we dump all the dirty diapers, covers and inserts in the washing machine along with the pail liner and run a rinse cycle with no detergent. Then we put in a Tbsp. of Rockin Green, and run a whites cycle. If the weather is nice, we hang the diapers on the clothesline and the sun bleaches any stains out. If it is raining, everything goes in the dryer on low. It is really very easy.

We have some FuzziBunz size small and some BumGenius One Size Fits all. Hopefully Ethan will fit into his newborn stage diapers for a while longer (he is currently 10.11lbs.) Our original plan was to hold onto all the diapers, should we ever decide to try for another child but they are in such good condition and have such a high resale value that we may sell them to fund the next stage. I'll keep you posted!

Early AM Thoughts on Being a First Time Mom

2011-09-06T02:55:00.000-04:00

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a while. My sweet baby boy Ethan is six weeks old! He is getting so big and doing new things every day. I am just so happy to be his Mom. I waited so long and tried so hard to get here, so I feel as though I need to appreciate it (and him) that much more. And I do. The strength of my love for him can not be measured. It is infinite.

But there is something else I want to talk about. Something that lots of people don't talk about: the emotional roller coaster that is new motherhood. Let's just say, I was not prepared. In fact, I was quite shocked. I think I tried so hard and waited so long to be his Mom...the idea was up on such a high pedestal, that I couldn't imagine anything but pure bliss...and it is bliss. Just not all the time. I want to address what I have found to be the two big myths and realities I've encountered. It is my personal experience. Maybe some of this stuff came easier to other women but I wanted to write this because I had a week or two there where I thought it was just me and that maybe I was developing PPD. I wasn't. In fact I was 100% normal. People just don't talk about this stuff.

Myth #1: Breastfed newborns eat every 2-3 hours.
Reality: Every baby is different and a lot of the time, the first 6 weeks of life is one big, giant cluster feed/growth spurt. Some factors add to this like having a larger baby. I was so unprepared for this, it's not even funny. It is so much pressure to be the sole nutritional source for your baby. Add to that the fact that in order to start up a good milk supply for the future, you have to feed on demand (which in my case during a few days around the 3 week old mark meant Ethan having 17 feedings varying from 25 mins-50 mins each in a 24 hour period,) extreme sleep deprivation and raging postpartum hormones, and you've got one very stressed out Mama. I cried...a lot. It is just now getting better. He is going longer stretches between feedings and I am pumping so Mark can give him a bottle 1x a day. But those first five weeks were so, so tough on me.

Myth #2: You should sleep when the baby sleeps
Reality: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. First of all, when I first got home, I couldn't sleep when he slept because I was paranoid that he would stop breathing in his sleep. Not fun. Then there is the laundry and the dishes. It is really easy to say they can wait for later. We all know that stuff has to get done. For me, having chaos and messiness around me while I was stuck on the couch feeding Ethan non-stop all day just increased my stress and anxiety that I had from all the postpartum hormones. So if I chose to spend a naptime cleaning instead of sleeping and then Ethan woke up and then stayed up all night cluster feeding, I was getting little or no sleep. And I cried...a lot.

Let's add to this a few things:

-Pressure from friends and family to visit/visit them/attend family functions...uh...I had no sleep, my boobs are leaking, I have no time to shower and my place is a mess and you want to come over?

-But. but, but...can't you just pump? Great idea. Why didn't I think of that? So when he is screaming bloody murder for boob, (90 % of the entire day) I'll just ignore him and pump instead so it is easier for everyone else.

-Postpartum pain. Ethan was 9lbs 1 oz. I pushed him out. There was tearing. Enough said.

-The baby blues/emotional ups and downs. One second I was laughing, smiling and happy. Next second I was hysterical crying. It's normal but when you are in it, it doesn't feel normal.

What you get is a very, tired and very emotionally drained Mom. I kind of felt like every day was an accomplishment just making it through the day. Everything felt bigger than it really was. It was hard.

But, every day is better than the day before. We are so in love with our little boy. Feeding him is getting so much easier and I am getting more sleep now. I love being a Mom. I would describe the first weeks as magical, exciting, anxiety-filled, stressful, happy, emotional, crazy and awesome. I just kind of wish I read a post like this so I was a little more prepared for what I was in for. Or I might not have believed it...who knows?

I WILL be a better blogger. I've got a fun cloth diaper post coming up as requested by Karen via twitter :)

Ethan's Birth Story

2011-08-19T23:49:00.004-04:00

It has been a long time, blog! I've been kind of busy tending to my chunky monkey...but more on that in another post. This post is all about how monkey got here.

I was getting impatient when July 11th aka due date rolled around. I was increasingly uncomfortable, swollen and just plain old impatient. People were starting to call and text and I was hearing a lot of "you didn't have that baby yet?" I tried all the "tricks." Nothing was making this kid want to self evict. By the time my midwife appointment at 41 weeks 5 days rolled around, I was beginning to accept that I was going to have to be induced 2 days later. I wasn't happy about it. I am not a fan of pitocin and I had been preparing myself and hoping for a natural childbirth. Really, it was more the lack of control that was getting to me. I wanted labor and childbirth on my terms and with every day that passed by, I felt like more and more of the control was getting put into the hands of the hospital.

Saturday, July23rd, I woke up, sat on the couch and had a good cry about the induction coming up the next day. Mark and I decided to do a big Costco shopping extravaganza since we figured Ethan would be here by Monday or Tuesday the latest and we had no food in the house. Last thing we wanted to do was come home from the hospital and have to go food shopping. We bought a lot of stuff and we were there walking around for quite some time. I was waddling ridiculously and getting a lot of looks and glances from people who were probably sure that I was going to give birth right then and there just based on the way I was huffing and puffing trying to get around. I took a nice long nap (those were the days!) when we got back and Mark cleaned and made sauce and lasagna. He was so proud of it (he never made homemade sauce or a lasagna before, that is always my job) and when I woke up he wanted me to taste it but I didn't want to because I WOKE UP HAVING CONTRACTIONS! Hallelujah!

I always talk about how much I like to do my research and read everything I can about whatever topics are pertinent to my life at the moment and usually, being a researcher has paid off for me. I find comfort in knowing what is going to happen and being informed. Yea. Reading did not prepare me for contractions 2 minutes apart from the first one and excruciating back labor. I labored at home with the contractions increasing in intensity from 9:30pm-12:30pm. At that point, since they were still 2 minutes apart, we headed to the hospital. Poor Gatsby was very agitated and knew something was up with me. I felt so bad leaving him.

At the hospital, they checked me and I was 4.5cm dilated so I was admitted. I informed them of my intention to labor naturally and that I did not want an epidural. They pretty much left us alone in the delivery room for several hours while I worked through the contractions. The back labor was excruciating...and made it tough for me to labor in any position except standing up and leaning over something (the counter, the bed, Mark...whatever.) My contractions were still 2 minutes apart, which sucked because I never really got any breaks. By the time 7:30am rolled around, I couldn't stand it anymore. My feet were so swollen and throbbing from being on them for 10 hours straight. I told Mark to get the midwife to check me and I told myself that if I was 8cm or more, I would suck it up and stick to my natural birth plan but if I was less than 8cm, I was getting an epidural. Well, I was 6.5cm. I'm pretty sure I screamed at the midwife to get the anesthesiologist.

The first epi was a bust. Bad placement. It didn't work. Now, at this point I'm begging for relief, at least I think I was but it could have just been in my own head. The second placement was right on the money though and wow did it feel good! So from 8am-9:30am, Mark took a nap and I laid in bed listening to my labor playlist, singing along and feeling no pain. I honestly didn't think anything was happening because I felt nothing. I was so shocked when after being checked at 9:30, I was told I was complete!

Since I was feeling nothing, they had me stop pushing my epi happy button so I could feel the pressure from the contractions and know when to push. We did some practice pushing from 10-11:30am and then the real pushing began. This is where it all gets a little fuzzy. I remember feeling pressure/pain and I remember there being several times where I doubted my ability to push him out. Two hours of pushing later though and there he was. I cried...it was such an emotional moment and I said "I did it, I did it!" Ethan was born at 1:22pm on July 24th and weighed in at 9lbs 1oz. The NICU team was there because he was late and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid when my water broke so I didn't get to hold him right away. I had some tearing so I got stitched up, E got checked out and then Mark got to hold him. It was so awesome seeing Mark hold our son for the first time. Words can not even describe what it was like. Once I was all stitched up, I got to hold my baby boy and we got some alone time, just the three of us for about an hour or so. It was so surreal and awesome.

If you got through all that, you deserve a cookie or something! I have lots and lots more to blog about, especially my thoughts on being a new Mom and breast feeding (which is btw, the hardest thing I have ever done and I was NOT prepared for that.) and how my little baby Gatsby is adjusting to the new little guy in the house. I'll save that for another post. I leave you with pics of E. He's pretty cute, if you ask me, but I think I am a little biased.

Just Born :)

Other Random Updates

2011-07-05T03:16:00.001-04:00

I've been such an awful blogger lately. I wish I was better about taking my weekly bump photos and doing the weekly post but once third trimester hit, I just got so tired and everything sort of fell by the wayside. I'm trying to be better (see posts below.)

I figured I'd do a post of random other updates. No rhyme or reason to them, just little things that have been going on.

1) Our baby shower was on June 18th. Honestly, I was so overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends. Ethan got EVERYTHING he could possibly need. He got so much stuff and it was really fun. My Mom, Mother-in-Law and Aunts planned a beautiful, nautical themed shower at a place right on the Long Island Sound and it was just gorgeous with breathtaking views and really great food!

2) Mark and I did a DIY maternity photo shoot at the local park. It was fun, even though I kind of look like Shrek. Here are some of my favorite shots from the shoot:

3) My next door neighbor's daughter (and the mother of the adorable Kailyn, who my Mom used to babysit.) Recently had a baby boy, Tyler, in March and was thoughtful and generous enough to bring me 2 giant bags of baby clothes that her baby has outgrown. Some stuff still has the tags on! Ethan is soooo set clothes wise in the NB, 0-3 and 3-6 month size. One he hits 6-9 months, we might actually have to buy some stuff for him, but definitely not until then! I am making Kailyn and Tyler matching owl hats for the Fall as a thank you.

4) We are reconsidering Ethan's middle name. We still love Ethan Patrick. It flows so nicely. But Mark has brought up that he has been having second thoughts because he thinks maybe the middle name should be a family name. Ethan Mark is now in the running. We are going to decide for sure when he gets here.

5) The other day, Mark and I spent several hours on Etsy looking for the perfect monthly onesie stickers for Ethan. Surprisingly, Mark got very into this. His main criteria was that they were cute and that the images didn't repeat after a few months. It was adorable that he got so excited about it. We ended up going with farm animals:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/65010943/monthly-onesie-stickers-funny-farm-low

6) I flippin' love Pinterest. For those that don't know what Pinterest (www.pinterest.com) is, you NEED to know. It is an online corkboard. Kind of like a visual bookmark board. It is difficult for me to explain at this late hour. Just know that it is awesome. You need an invitation to get an account, otherwise you have to go on the waiting list, which I am told can take a while. I was lucky enough to get an invite. If you want to try pinterest out, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you one :)

A post for my pug

2011-07-05T02:49:00.000-04:00

It is no secret how much Mark and I love our pug Gatsby. He is our baby and we love him unconditionally. I know that he loves us too, even though he can't tell us. The poor little guy has been really stressed for the past 2-ish months. He wants to be next to me 24/7. He also cries and gets anxious when I make any motion to leave the room we are in. The vet says that he smells/knows something is different/something is happening and it is stressing him out and to expect more of it in the first few weeks that the baby is here.

Mark and I are already mentally prepared for this. We know it will be an adjustment for Gatsby when Ethan comes home. We know he is going to be hyper. We know he is going to want to jump all over the baby in the first day or two and we know that he is going to have a little anxiety from the decrease in attention that he gets. We also know that he will adjust...and that he and Ethan will be BFF.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I am "worried about the dog and the baby" or something to that effect, I would have a great start to Ethan's college fund. I have been pretty cranky and blunt lately so I'll just tell you all this now: stop asking me. And when Ethan is here, please do not come and visit us and then get all anxious/nervous about things Gatsby related. You will make my dog have more stress and anxiety and it will not be appreciated in the critical first weeks when we are trying to acclimate him to this huge change in his home life. Gatsby will still be our baby...he will be our baby forever. He isn't some inconvenience or (as a woman in Petco said to me the other day) just a dog now.

Since Gatsby won't leave my side lately, I've been taking a lot of pictures of him, including a little 4th of July photo shoot at the local park. Here are some of my favorites:

39 Weeks

2011-07-05T02:31:00.001-04:00

Baby's now the size of a watermelon!

Baby's brain is still developing rapidly, and his skin has taken on a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. (Don't worry; he'll change color again soon after birth.) He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips.

How Far Along? 39 weeks!!!!!

Total weight gain: +30 lbs on the dot

Maternity clothes? I wear a lot of summer dresses that I had from summers past. They are all empire waist and work with my bump.

Sleep: Sleep is interesting these days. I wake a lot because of Braxton Hicks contractions or to pee or because my hips or legs are aching and I need to change positions. The sleep I do get however, is such a deep restful sleep. Even though it stinks to not have a job right now, it is nice to take 1, sometimes 2 naps during the day, with Gatsby of course.

Best moment this week: Too many to name. Mark is being so awesome. I think he is nervous about labor and seeing me in pain/knowing what to do. He is the best husband.

Food Cravings/Aversions: a few days ago, after not having much of an appetite for most of my pregnancy, I became a human vacuum. I can eat anything and crave everything.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Sometimes I miss sleeping on my stomach but usually nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: It is really hard not to be cranky with your loved ones when you feel cranky all the time. It has helped telling people like my Mom and Dad as a preface to any conversation that I am super cranky and if I say something bitchy to please ignore me.

Milestones: None. Just waiting at this point.

33 weeks!

2011-05-25T03:28:00.000-04:00

Baby's now the size of a honeydew!

Things are heating up inside as well: Baby may grow up to a full inch this week alone, and his brain is developing like crazy. Pretty soon, he'll be able to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing. Also, his bones are hardening, and he's started to keep his eyes open when he's awake.

How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain: +18 from where I started (based on last midwife appointment. I've probably gained a few more since then.)

Maternity clothes? For the most part. I ordered a dress from Target for my shower...hopefully it looks decent. We'll see when it gets here. I have to start getting some nursing stuff.

Sleep: I love sleep and can sleep anywhere but never for a long stretch of time because I always have to pee!

Best moment this week: I watched a video on youtube about a couple's struggle with infertility and it made me so grateful. I'll never forget where I came from, so to speak.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I am still a juice junkie, especially Apple & Eve's Mango Passion which they seem to only sell at BJ's. I also craved chocolate cake the other day which is odd for me. I am a yellow/white cake kind of girl.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Sometimes I miss sleeping on my stomach but usually nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I haven't been feeling very wise but I will say that this week I was reminded that it is the little things in life that make me happiest.

Milestones: Braxton Hicks are starting up a little bit!

I think Ethan is having a growth spurt! Just for comparison, here is my bump at 30 weeks:

And here it is at 33 weeks (please excuse my messy hair and red face...I just woke up from a nap!

Much rounder right?

Remembering

2011-05-20T02:01:00.002-04:00

Last night, after checking the weather and looking at the date, I realized in absolute horror that I had forgotten the 2nd anniversary of the day we lost our baby bean, our first pregnancy. Now, to someone who hasn't experienced this, it may seem like not much of a big deal but to me, it was devastating that I forgot because I promised that little one and myself that I never would. I never want to forget the one glorious month that I lived in pure ignorant bliss, so excited to be pregnant and feeling like everything was falling into place for Mark and I. In hind site, I was really naive...and our bad luck was just about to begin.

I know Mark didn't remember and I didn't say anything to him either. Even though I know he was so upset when we lost our baby, I just don't think that men feel it as deeply as women do. Our bodies physically expel our baby...it is so indescribable.

I felt pretty awful when I realized I forgot. Like a really bad Mom. I promised that baby when it left my body that I would never and could never replace them. It is so so hard for me when people ask me if this current pregnancy is my first baby. I always say yes, just because it is easier but in my mind I am screaming NO! There was another baby and s/he was our first and I love that baby so so much that it hurts.

So in remembrance of baby bean, here is everything I have...everything I know and never want to forget:

I am pretty sure Mark and I made baby bean the night of my Sister-in-law Marcia's 25th birthday party. Here we are...blissful newlyweds (and very drunk:)

I found out I was pregnant on April 27, 2009. Here is the pregnancy test I took that day:

When I was around 6 weeks pregnant, we went on an already planned trip to the Dominican Republic. In the back of my mind, I have always blamed the trip for taking my baby...the pressure of the plane ride or the foreign food. All the doctors told me that was nonsense and that these things just happen but I think I just looked for answers. Here we are all tanned and happy:

I started spotting the day after we got back from that trip. A few days later, ultrasound confirmed that our little blob on the screen had no heartbeat...and that it was over. I should have asked for a printout of that ultrasound. It didn't occur to me at the time to ask for it but I wish I did. It was a gorgeous May day on Long Island and Mark was home from work so we decided to spend the day in the yard with Gatsby. I popped a few hydrocodone I had left over from getting my wisdom teeth pulled and passed out on the hammock but before I did, I gave Mark my camera and told him to take pictures of me and us. I knew I would want to remember. Here are 2 of them:

I feel better thinking about that time and looking at the pics. If there is such a thing as a soul or a spirit and the spirit of our baby is out there somewhere, I want him or her to know that I didn't forget and I can never ever replace them. Sorry for the depressing post...I just needed to get it out.

29 Weeks

2011-04-29T20:36:00.000-04:00

Baby's now the size of a squash!
Baby's energy is surging, thanks to white fat depositing beneath his skin. And since he's growing so fast (weight will triple by birth), things are getting kind of cramped in the womb. What all this means for you: Get ready for some more kicks and jabs to the ribs.

How far along? 29 weeks

Total weight gain: +18 from where I started.

Maternity clothes? of course...needing some summer stuff I think. Maybe 1 pair of shorts and 1 pair of capris

Sleep: Mark and I got a new bed and mattress and sleep has been so much better since then! I do wake up 2x a night to pee though.

Best moment this week: my belly now moves..on the outside. Weird and fun!

Food Cravings/Aversions: Juice. Any kind of juice.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I have to watch myself...I am getting..um...cranky and very very emotional. Mark didn't go to the store on his way home one night to get me juicy juice and I started crying so it is obviously hormonal because it is completely irrational.

Milestones: Third Trimester!

Win a $150 Charlie Banana gift card from Natural Mommie

2011-04-06T23:44:00.000-04:00

I keep seeing more and more talk in the cloth diapering world about Charlie Banana

They are hybrid diapers which means you can use the washable insert that they come with or use disposable inserts to make clean up easier. I discovered an awesome blog: Natural Mommie gave them a great review and is giving away a $150 gift card. Awesome. Check out This Post on Natural Mommie for more details.

Why I Can't Stand "Your Pregnancy Week By Week"

2011-03-21T20:58:00.000-04:00

I signed up for the "Future Moms" program through my insurance company. There are 24 hour nurses on call for you to answer pregnancy related questions and there are some other benefits but the real reason I signed up was there is a 24 hour lactation consultant there that I can call with any questions after Ethan is here about breastfeeding. I thought that might be helpful if I need a question answered at 2am.

Part of the welcome packet they send you is the book "Your Pregnancy Week By Week." I confess that I had bought "What To Expect..." when I was pregnant the first time, and this pregnancy I have been much more interested in reading breastfeeding, natural birth and childcare books than pregnancy books, especially because there are a billion websites out there that can tell you everything you need to know. Since I got YPWBW for free though, I decided to look through it.

Just like any other pregnancy book, it has the basics and things you should know but it also has a lot of misinformation and outdated information...and I have the latest edition. Here are two sections from the book that really made me mad. Trust me, there are plenty more.

1) "Pets in the Home"

The book mentions making sure your dog is up to date on vaccinations, which for any responsible pet owner, should be a given but that's about the only good thing in this section. There is a list of things you should do before the baby comes that is so ridiculous...I just can't believe it. It details how you should decrease the amount of time you spend with your pet, change the pet's feeding schedule (WHY???) and move your pet out of your room if the pet sleeps in your room. Then the book goes on to say that if the sound of a baby crying distresses your dog, you should "leave him with a friend or board him for a while." WOW. That will REALLY help the dog adjust to the new baby. Kicking him out will do the trick. The book does not site any vet or dog behavior experts that have been consulted as a source of this information and was in fact written by an OBGYN.

Victoria Stillwell has some great (positive reinforcement) suggestions on integrating dog and baby on Animal Planet's website:

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/its-me-or-dog/ask-victoria/new-baby.html

2)"Will Your Doctor Perform an Episiotomy"

The books sites benefits of an episiotomy as "a lower risk of trauma to the perineum." It also states that it is "better than a tear or rip" and it "heals better than a ragged tear."

The hilarious part about that last quote is that 2 paragraphs prior, the author quotes the ACOG's stance that women who undergo episiotomies "feel more pain, take longer to heal, and are more likely to suffer serious lacerations." So how exactly is that better? Color me confused.

For more info, check this out. It sites several studies that do not support episitomies:

http://www.efn.org/~djz/birth/obmyth/epis.html

21-23 Weeks

2011-03-17T06:09:00.001-04:00

Baby's now the size of a banana!
Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion, and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, if baby is a girl, her womb is now stocked up with her lifetime supply of six million eggs (the number will drop to around one million by birth).

Baby's now the size of a papaya!
Baby's settling into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop.

Baby's now the size of a papaya!
Baby's little face is fully formed...minus the baby fat, of course. The next task at hand for baby: sprouting two teeny-tiny nipples!

Woopsie! I missed a few weeks there...

How far along? 21-23 Weeks

Total weight gain: +7 from where I started.

Maternity clothes? almost always

Sleep: I could write 20 pages about sleep/lack of sleep/needing to sleep all the time and my completely messed up sleeping pattern.

Best moment this week: kicks and punches are so strong now!

Food Cravings/Aversions: All I want to eat is fruit cocktail out of a can LOL

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't talk about parenting philosophies with others besides your partner. In fact, tell people as little as possible. It's no one's business anyway.

Milestones:

20 Weeks: Half Baked!

2011-02-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of a cantaloupe!
Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies respond best to tastes they've already had via amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you'd like your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

How far along? 20 weeks

Total weight gain: +7 from where I started.

Maternity clothes? are so comfy

Sleep: I sleep a lot but I also toss and turn a lot. I don't forsee that changing anytime soon.

Best moment this week: Buying baby clothes for the first time

Food Cravings/Aversions: I'm loving everything lately. Especially a decaf iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: ??? I got nothing

Milestones: Halfway there!

Ethan's Musical Taste

2011-02-21T16:48:00.002-05:00

Last night, Mark and I were watching Californication. David Duchovney's daughter on the show played a song that I recognized with her band but I couldn't place it right away because it was a teenage girl singing it and it was acoustic. We realized after a few minutes that is was "I Remember You" by Skid Row. I ran to my itunes to listen to the authentic Skid Row version which has lots of guitars and awesomeness, as any monster ballad does, and discovered *gasp* I do not own that song. What kind of 80's hair band fan doesn't have that song? It was downloaded immediately.

Today, I decided to make a CD of my favorite monster ballads to listen to while I'm cleaning the kitchen in my wall-mounted CD player. Here is the playlist:

I Remember You, Skid Row
Heaven, Warrant
High Enough, Damn Yankees
To Be With You, Mr. Big
When I See You Smile, Bad English
The Flame, Cheap Trick
Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
Is This Love, Whitesnake
Without You, Motley Crue
Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad, Def Leppard
I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi
What About Love, Heart
The Search Is Over, Survivor
I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner

Now, I need to tell you that although I have felt the flutters and a few kicks and punches from Ethan, the movement I can feel is not consistent yet, and the Dr. tells me it could be many weeks until it is. I mostly feel things late at night, not usually in the day. I started washing dishes and listening to my CD and suddenly, the kicking and punching is strong, fierce, and non-stop! I turned the music off for a minute and he stopped. Put it back on and he started again.

I'm not sure what this says about his musical taste. Perhaps he loves the monster ballads, just like his Mom and Dad do. Maybe he hates it with a fiery passion and prefers the lyrical hip-hop stylings of Notorious B.I.G.? I'm not sure yet. It may sound like Charlie Brown's teacher is singing to him no matter what I'm blasting out my speakers. I just found his strong reaction today hilarious and wanted to share.

Here's some 80's goodness for you monster ballad lovers. Sebastian Bach is so pretty. His hair is awesome!:

19 Weeks: It's a Boy!

2011-02-19T23:09:00.001-05:00

Baby's now the size of a mango!
Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil, and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

How far along? 19 weeks

Total weight gain: +7 from where I started.

Maternity clothes? Lord, yes.

Sleep: I wake up a lot, as I've said before, because of aches and pains in my butt/hip area however, I require A LOT of sleep. I could really sleep 12 hours a day and be awake for the other 12.

Best moment this week: Finding out our baby's sex!

Food Cravings/Aversions: I'm loving everything lately.

Gender: It's a boy! We have had our names picked out for a while. Ethan Patrick Lane! There is no familial significance (although I do have a really wonderful Great-Uncle named Patrick.) Mark and I fell in love with the name Ethan. It just seems so US and since the only family name I was considering (My Dad's name Stephen) doesn't really go as a middle name, we picked a middle name that we both like and that we though sounded right. The girl name will go in the vault for possible use at a later date.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Registering is hard!

Milestones: A healthy anatomy scan was such a wonderful milestone. Also finding out Ethan is a boy.

18 weeks

2011-02-09T15:15:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of a sweet potato!
Baby's become amazingly mobile (compared to you, at least), passing the hours yawning, hiccupping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing. And baby is finally big enough that you'll soon be able to feel her movements.

How far along? 18 weeks

Total weight gain: -10lbs. at my appointment last week so I am -7 from my pre pregnancy weight. I have a feeling that I will see a decent gain at my appointment next week.

Maternity clothes? Yes please

Sleep: Crazy sleeping pattern, that's for sure. Plus my butt muscles hurt (ache like I worked out) depending on what side I sleep on so I flip over a million times a night.

Best moment this week: Love bug kicked me hard the other night. It was so cool!

Food Cravings/Aversions: guacamole (not spicy)

Gender: I think it is a girl. We are finding out on Valentine's day, as long as Love Bug cooperates. As the anatomy scan approaches, a few people have made comments to me about being excited about finding out the sex and counting down the days to finding out the sex. I appreciate their excitement, I really do and I want to know too...however, my number one priority is Love Bug's health. The sex is the last thing they are looking for at this next ultrasound. There is a laundry list of defects and conditions that could effect the quality of Love Bug's life or determine whether he/she has a life at all that are the reason for this ultrasound. I just wanted to remind everyone what is important here.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't eat right before bed!

Milestones: First real kicks on Sunday, February 6th.

17 Weeks: Better Late Than Never

2011-02-03T19:03:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of an onion!
Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. His umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes now feature one-of-a-kind prints.

How far along? 17 weeks

Total weight gain: -10lbs. at my appointment last week so I am -7 from my pre pregnancy weight which is so funny to me since my tummy feels so big!

Maternity clothes? Yes please

Sleep: My sleeping pattern is so messed up at this point that I have given up trying to fix it.

Best moment this week: Gatsby has taken to laying his head on my swollen belly. My heart melts every time he does it.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I am craving any and all fruit.

Gender: I think it is a girl. We are finding out on Valentine's day, as long as Love Bug cooperates. Only a little more than a week to go!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Try any heartburn remedies that you can because waking up in the middle of the night with your throat on fire is NOT FUN!

Milestones: No flutters since those first ones which or course, made me nervous. I broke out the doppler a few times since then just to check and make sure Love Bug is doing well in there. It is still early...some don't feel anything until 20-22 weeks and I can't wait!

16 Weeks

2011-01-25T13:55:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of an avocado!
Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

How far along? 16 weeks

Total weight gain: -10lbs. at my appointment last week so I am -7 from my pre pregnancy weight which is so funny to me since my tummy feels so big!

Maternity clothes? Love them

Sleep: I have been battling insomnia this week

Best moment this week: Felt flutters for the first time two nights ago. It felt like popcorn was popping in my belly!

Movement: See above answer

Food Cravings/Aversions: Lots of aversions lately. I am craving an Italian hero which I can't have so oh well.

Gender: I think it is a girl. We are finding out on Valentine's day, as long as Love Bug cooperates.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Eat more!

Milestones: First flutters!

Night Moves

2011-01-20T00:41:00.000-05:00

I was washing dishes earlier, listening to my ipod on shuffle when "Night Moves" by Bob Seger came on. One of my favorite songs to sing along to...especially the background singers part. Here is a conversation that took place between Mark and I a little while later:

Me: We should start singing good songs to the baby so he or she has an appreciation of good music when they get older.

Mark: Oh yea, Like what?

Me: Well..."Night Moves" for one

Mark: hmmmmmmmmm

Me: What? The baby doesn't know what the song is about

Mark: um hmmmmm

15 weeks

2011-01-18T13:06:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of a naval orange!
Continuing the march toward normal proportions, baby's legs now out-measure his arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably can't feel the movements just yet.

How far along? 15 weeks

Total weight gain: + 3 at my last appointment on 12/23

Maternity clothes? Maternity jeans as well as leggings and jeggings. Most maternity shirts I have are too big but I wear them anyway.

Sleep: I sleep soundly but I toss and turn a lot.

Best moment this week: Window shopping at Babies R Us and watching Mark absolutely shocked by all the stuff there.

Movement: Can't feel anything yet, but I hope I get some flutters soon! I can hear Love Bug moving on the doppler though. I have also noticed my belly is wider but not as round anymore, which is kind of weird but whatever, as long as Love Bug is happy in there.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Croissant with jam and tea. Yummy.

Gender: I think it is a girl, Mark thinks it is a boy. We'll know who is right in 5 weeks.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I got nothing. I'm not feeling very wise this week.

Milestones: Love Bug moves a LOT when I use my home doppler. If the volume is up too loud, the kicks will hurt your ears.

14 Weeks

2011-01-10T22:37:00.000-05:00

Baby's now the size of a lemon!
Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine, and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over her body for warmth.

How far along? 14 weeks

Total weight gain: + 3 at my last appointment on 12/23

Maternity clothes? Maternity jeans as well as leggings and jeggings. In today's belly pic, I am wearing a maternity shirt my mom got me...it is definitely too big but I am sure I will grow into it.

Sleep: Still really good but I wake up with pain in my hips and butt on whatever side I am sleeping on.

Best moment this week: Convincing Mark to agree to my girl name :)

Movement: Can't feel anything yet.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nacho Cheese Doritos. I ate a giant bag all by myself. In one sitting.

Gender: I think it is a girl, Mark thinks it is a boy. We'll know who is right in 6 weeks.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I need to be more on top of laundry if I intend to cloth diaper. Gotta form good habits now.

Milestones: I am no longer nauseous all day long. Only when I wake up in the night and first thing in the morning. A cup of tea makes it go away and stay away for the day.

14 Week Belly Pic:

Four am Fix: Pot Roast Edition

2011-01-05T04:32:00.000-05:00

I fell asleep at 10:30pm last night. I was ecstatic to be tired so early because I have been on the worst sleep pattern known to man (going to sleep after midnight, waking up around noon.)

I had several very vivid dreams about the pot roast I made for dinner just a few hours before. I woke up with a full bladder and salivating. So I peed and proceeded to eat what I can only imagine was probably 6-8oz of pot roast with lots of gravy. It was heaven.

Now I am wide awake but at least I got my fix.

13 Weeks

2011-01-03T19:12:00.001-05:00

Baby's now the size of a peach!
Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords...savor this, their nonfunctional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy -- much more convenient.

How far along? 13 weeks

Total weight gain: + 3 at my last appointment on 12/23

Maternity clothes? Maternity jeans as well as leggings and jeggings. I love the sweatshirt my parents got me also...it is very snuggly.

Sleep: constantly

Best moment this week: Mark woke up before me on New Year's Day and started rubbing my belly. That's how I woke up.

Movement: Can't feel anything yet.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Watermelon, Greek Salad, Red Gatorade/Chicken, Hot Vegetables

Gender: I think it is a girl, Mark thinks it is a boy. We'll know who is right in 2 months.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: If I keep myself busy, I feel less nauseous

Milestones: This week marks the beginning of the second trimester. Sweet!

Goals

2011-01-03T14:25:00.002-05:00

I don't like New Year's resolutions. I NEVER keep them. I do however like to set goals for myself and I think now is an appropriate time to set some new ones. For a long time now, my goal has been to get pregnant. I did everything in my power to reach that goal so...check!

That being said, I have set some new goals for myself and some of them go against my relaxed nature so without further ado, here is the list:

1. Make breakfast and lunch for Mark every weekday. No, I do not want to be Donna Reed, however, my husband sure does work a lot and the poor guy sometimes has no time to eat. He is super picky about breakfast food. He doesn't like anything that is quick (cereal, oatmeal, trail mix bars, etc.) so I am going to pre-make some breakfast stuff for him that he can eat first thing at work. For his lunch, I am going to try to make too much dinner every night that way he can take the leftovers for lunch and he really needs to drink more water so I am going to make sure to fill his water bottle and pack it for him every day. I think he will feel better and have more energy especially on the days that he works late. Plus, we will probably save a ton of money. Buying breakfast and lunch in Brooklyn is super expensive.

2. Get organized. This is a goal that I have been trying to reach for quite some time now. I can never seem to maintain it. I think we are due for a purge of stuff. A lot of stuff. After that I am hoping to break out the label maker, storage bins and get organized. We'll see on this one.

3. Do more yoga. I always feel GREAT after yoga. I definitely do not practice as much as I used to. Now that I am going to birth a baby, I think its time to jump back on the yoga train. I signed up for a prenatal series at a yoga studio close by that starts at the end of January and I have a bunch of yoga dvd's to do at home.

4. Read more. Don't get me wrong. I do read a lot. I used to read a lot more. I have a giant list of non-fiction books about pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and babies that I need to read. I also have a giant list of fiction books that have had my interest for a while. I think the key to reading more is less computer time.

I could think of a million goals that I want to work on but I'm not going to put that kind of pressure on myself so for now, this is it.

Happy New Year, I think.

2011-01-01T13:19:00.001-05:00

I am not a huge fan of New Year's. In my sentimental mind, we are all just one year older. One year closer to not existing anymore. Morbid, I know, but I have always found New Year's Eve depressing. I never go anywhere for this reason and if I can help it, I go to sleep before the ball drops.

Last New Year's Eve I found especially hard. At the beginning of 2009, I had dubbed it "Our Year" (mine and Mark's.) That didn't work out so well. I did have high hopes for 2010 but I didn't want to hope too much. Hoping all the time and then having your hopes crushed just seems to hurt more than not hoping at all. It seems that in the fourth quarter of 2010, lady luck decided to jump on the M&M train. It was hard to believe it at first but last night, I said to Mark "Happy New Year! We are having a baby this year!" And you know what? I really believe it.

So Happy New Year! I think it's going to be a good one.

12 Weeks

2010-12-28T00:01:00.002-05:00

Baby's now the size of a plum!As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of her systems are fully formed.

How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain: + 3 at my last appointment on 12/23

Maternity clothes? Sometimes. I got a lot for Christmas. The full panel jeans that my Mom got me feel like heaven.

Sleep: It is pretty much what takes up the majority of my time.

Best moment this week: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were great. I can't believe we will have a 5 month old next year! Love Bug got a few gifts from family and that was pretty great.

Movement: Can't feel anything yet.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Watermelon, Coke Slurpees, French Toast/Pretty much everything else.

Gender: I think it is a girl, Mark thinks it is a boy. We'll know who is right in 2 months.

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: Drink lots of fluids or wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I haven't drank anything for days therefore drinking 2 full glasses of gatorade and spending the rest of the night getting up to pee.

Milestones: 12 weeks in and of itself is a huge milestone for me. Also in the past week, we got to see Love Bug moving around on the ultrasound screen which was awesome.

First Bump pic taken on Christmas Day.

Love Bug is Facebook Official

2010-12-23T20:36:00.001-05:00

We outed Love Bug on Facebook today after the NT Scan went great. It was awesome to see how much bigger our little one has gotten between the last ultrasound (8 weeks) and today (11 weeks 3 days.)

S/he was wiggling around and dancing for us in there. It was amazing!

Our Little Love Bug

2010-12-23T20:30:00.000-05:00

The posts below are all the entries that I made but kept private since we found out about this pregnancy. I was saving them up for when we outed ourselves.

November 2, 2010 6:20am

Dear Love Bug,

It has been just 3 days since we found out about you. It was 2am on Saturday and I couldn't sleep because I was feeling nauseous so on a whim, I took a pregnancy test. The pink line I have been looking for for the past year and a half appeared almost right away. I sank to the floor and cried because I was so happy.

A few minutes later, I went and woke up your father who was fast asleep. Waving around the pregnancy test, I managed to get out "It's positive" before bursting into tears. We hugged and he rubbed my back until I stopped crying. Already practicing his comforting techniques for fatherhood I guess.

The next day was Halloween and it was your parents second wedding anniversary. We went out to brunch and you were the #1 topic of conversation. Planning and hoping and wishing.... Afterwards we went over to the bookstore and bought a pregnancy journal so I can have a keepsake of my time with you. We spent the rest of the day at home with Gatsby, taking pictures of him in his Halloween costume and carving pumpkins. I kept imagining you next year, trick or treating in your stroller while Gatsby walks alongside. Maybe you will be a ladybug or maybe you will be a lion..the costume possibilities are endless. We got Italian take out and toasted with sparkling Apple Cider to our two years of marriage...and to the future.

We love you so much already, our Little Love Bug. Get all snuggly and warm where you are, stay put and grow strong. We can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Mom

Nerves

November 3, 2010 6:33am

The initial excitement that I have felt in finding out that I am pregnant again has worn off a teensy bit and has been replaced with something else: nerves. I was warned about this and somewhat prepared for this by others that have been pregnant after a loss/infertility. I WANT to be enjoying every second, relishing in the fact that there is a baby growing right now but there is a part of me that thinks something will go wrong. So of course, every feeling I have is over analyzed x1000. Some of the symptoms I have are welcomed, as they are a sign of pregnancy and that my body is doing what it should.. For instance, my boobs feel like someone has used them as punching bags; YAY!! I mean that sincerely. In fact, at any given time of the day, you can find me squishing them to make sure they still hurt.

However I also have some other weird things going on. Like I can hear my heartbeat in my ear. All the time. Google is your enemy in a situation such as this. According to Dr. Google, it could be high blood pressure, which I have never had in my life. So of course, I got really nervous and took my BP on my moms automatic machine....135/90!! THAT IS HIGH. I have never had high blood pressure in my whole life. This makes me so scared. Of course, my nervousness could be causing the high BP but you KNOW I am going to tell the Dr. today about it.

Then there is the constant checking for bleeding. I HATE having to pee because I dread seeing blood. I haven't seen any but I always imagine that I will. I dream about it in fact.

I hope with time and monitoring from my Dr, my nerves will calm down a bit. I miss the days of blissful pregnancy ignorance where in my mind, there was no chance I would lose my baby and every day was an endless stream of happy dreams and wishes for the future. I still have wishes, but they are a little tinged with cynicism at times and that sucks.

The BP Machine is My Friend

November 3, 2010 5:26pm

I went in for my second betas today. First betas at 13 days past ovulation were HCG 114 and Progesterone 19. Today they were HCG 225 Progesterone 20. My Dr. was happy with those numbers and I am scheduled for more bloodwork and first ultrasound this coming Monday when I will be approx. 4 weeks 6 days pregnant. I am super nervous about this ultrasound because I know it is too early to see anything more than a gestational sac but it is my RE's office policy to do a placement ultrasound this early to rule out an ectopic pregnancy so I just have to keep telling myself that it is no big deal.

I spoke to the Dr today about my blood pressure and my concerns. My regular Dr. wasn't available at the time but his partner was and he was a bit ominous about it, saying I would need to go to a High Risk OBGYN and using other scary words. But he did suggest that it could be my nerves driving my BP up and suggested that I keep track of it and take it several times a day, especially when I am sitting and at rest. I've taken it several times today and I am feeling A LOT better. The #'s so far have been:

115/86

118/79

128/84

118/79

I feel a lot better now. Hopefully they stay consistently in the normal range so I don't have to lose sleep over them.

Love Bug's First Ultrasound

November 8, 2010 10:45am

I went in for my first ultrasound today at 4 weeks 6 days. I was terrified to go to this appointment. I know that this early, the most we are going to see is the gestational sac and I just kept telling myself that as I drove to the office, sat in the waiting room and then sat on the table waiting for the ultrasound tech to come in. Dr. B said the only reason for an ultrasound this early is to rule out an ectopic pregnancy (which I KNEW it wasn't because my ute HURTS) but I was scared we would see nothing and I would leave the office feeling uncertain and even more nervous.

There it is. Our Little Love Bug. They were able to see the yolk sac in addition to the gestational sac and Dr. B said that is a great sign this early. When the ultrasound tech left the room I sobbed. I was just so relieved. All the tension I had been holding in was released in that moment. I have a feeling this is how it is going to be for every ultrasound appointment in the first trimester.

I also showed Dr. B all the BP's I have been taking and he said they are pretty normal so I was relieved however he did think that my pulse was a little on the high side so he is ordering thyroid tests. I am happy that he is so on top of my health and care. He is the best.

Grow Little Love Bug!! Grow!

November 9, 2010 2:20pm

Five weeks pregnant today!! Every day that goes by I thank God, the Heavens, Mother Earth, Karma, the Planets and anything else that I can think of for this baby.

Hormones are surging and with that comes crying at virtually everything. The simplest thing can make me burst into tears but today was a doozy! My Mom has this huge collection of A Winter Solstice CD's that she has been aquiring since I was a teenager. She has to have at least 20 of them but my favorite is A Winter's Solstice III I uploaded all of her CD's to my itunes and I was listening to them this morning when the song Lullay, Lully by Barbara Higbie came on. I immediately burst into tears. It is the most beautiful lullaby and I always imagined singing it and rocking a little baby of my own. I had completely forgotten about it until now.

The hard part about being pregnant after a loss and infertility is not being able to be confident in your pregnancy, not being able to be sure that this time next year, I will be rocking my baby in my arms and singing this song to him or her. Right now I am taking it one day at a time.

Here is the song if you want to hear it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTNJLzUxOQM

Six Weeks!

November 15, 2010 12:01 am

Baby's now the size of a sweet pea!
Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and chin. Those little hands and feet -- still webbed like paddles -- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

Six weeks pregnant today! It is "the scary time" right now. In 3 days, I go in for my second ultrasound where, hopefully, we will see Love Bug's heartbeat. This is the point that we did not get past last time. I am terrified. But I am also really hopeful. I am nauseous all the time and I LOVE it. I had no nausea last time and nausea is caused by a surge of pregnancy hormones so every time I am feeling sick, it is so reassuring. I am also exhausted and I am loving that too. After almost a year of battling insomnia, you don't know how awesome it is to lay in bed and fall asleep right away.

We Have A Heatbeat!

November 19. 9:22am

Mark and I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning so he could go to the second ultrasound before work. I was incredibly nervous. If Mark was, he didn't show it at all. This is the point that we never got to last pregnancy. We never saw a heartbeat. I was terrified that we would get bad news.

See that little white blob in the middle of the big black blob? That's our love bug! Heart is beating strong at 123 beats per minute which is a great number for the sixth week. I am over the moon.

Seven Weeks!

November 23, 2010

Baby's now the size of a blueberry!
Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

I'm excited to be at blueberry! Our Love Bug seems more tangible now, I'm more hopeful and I'm starting to believe that Love Bug will be our take home forever baby. Still lots of nausea and exhaustion and I'm still loving it. As much as is stinks to not be working right now, it is nice to be able to take 2 naps during the day and to not have to get up early and go to an office when I feel like I'm going to barf.

Next up: 3rd Ultrasound on 11/29. I will be 7 weeks 6 days. Dr. B. says that if that ultrasound goes well, he is releasing me to an OB. I mentioned to him that I was considering seeing a midwife and he advised against it. He suggested I go to a practice of OBGYN's that have a few high risk doctors because he wants my thyroid to be very closely monitored. I was disappointed for half a second and then decided I'll do what he says. Anything that will help us bring Love Bug home in July is OK in my book.

November 29, 2010 12:10pm

Hi everyone! That's what I imagine this little Love Bug saying in this ultrasound picture. Marcia says the baby is giving us the thumbs up to let us know that everything is ok in there. So our 7week 6day appointment went great. it is amazing to see the heart muscle working and beating. Love Bug is measuring 8weeks 2 days and heartbeats per minute are 171. Great numbers!! I said goodbye to Dr. B. It was bittersweet. I love the office and I know all the people there and they know me and will squeeze me in and accommodate me in whatever I need. I have an appointment with Dr. O on 12/6. He is the MFM that Dr. B. recommends I see because of my thyroid (MFM aka Maternal Fetal Medicine aka high risk OBGYN.)

We told our parents and siblings for now. We decided we didn't want to wait until Christmas. We'll save our extended family for then.

November 30, 2010 8:50pm

Baby's now the size of a raspberry!

Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

Love Bug is Getting so big! In other news, none of my winter coats will zip up!

December 6, 2010 5:50pm

Just got back a little while ago from my first appointment with Dr. O; the high risk OBGYN Dr B. recommended to me. I actually didn't see Dr. O. at all, instead I saw his NP Laura who was all kinds of awesome. I was with her for almost two hours, discussing my symptoms, history, all the tests that Dr. B. had already done, etc. Plus I got my flu shot. I liked the office a lot. Definitely a lot better than my old OBGYN office.

Dr. O and Laura work pretty closely with Dr B. at Stony Brook. After Laura went over everything with me, she told me that Dr B. is a wonderful Dr. but believes that a lot of patients need to go to high risk OBGYN's when they really don't so their compromise is that they start me off with the high-risk doctors and then when I am well into my second tri, they will let me decide if I want to continue with them, switch to the regular OBGYN's at the office or switch to the midwives at the office. She also gave me the option of having the midwives working with the Dr's as a team and this made me so so happy. I really wanted to go to the Stony Brook midwives before Dr. B. said I shouldn't so...yay!

They also changed my due date to July 11th...just one day. Next appointment is 12/23 where we will have the NT scan. This will be the longest I have gone this pregnancy without an ultrasound...about 3.5 weeks. The waiting is driving me crazy...I am so scared of having a missed miscarriage, but I am taking it one day at a time and repeating the mantra "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

December 6, 2010 6:30pm

Baby's now the size of a green olive!Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like...well...a baby!

December 13, 2010 3:44pm

Baby's now the size of a prune!With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will start working too.)

Double digits! For some reason I have been really looking forward to ten weeks. I guess I see it as a milestone to go from single digit weeks to double. Baby is the size of a prune which is the only fruit in the entire 40 weeks that I have never had and have no idea what it even looks like, except for this picture. But WOW. 1.2 inches. That's big! Love Bug is growing right along, huh?

I've still got tons and tons of symptoms (nausea, fatigue, sore boobs, etc.) I've also got a little added anxiety because we aren't seeing Dr. B. anymore therefore I am not getting my (almost) weekly ultrasounds. In fact, I am not having another one for another week and a half (Dec 23rd.) More specifically, that day we are doing the NT scan and I have to admit that I am more nervous that the baby's heart is still beating than I am for the screening. I think a weight will be lifted if everything goes well at that appointment.

December 20, 2010 12:18am

Baby's now the size of a lime!Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through it. But fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds, and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

I love limes. Key Lime Pie, Limeade, a few slices of Lime in my Gin & tonic (when I am not pregnant, of course,) you get the idea. Just two weeks until Love Bug and I reach the second trimester and I am so excited!

My belly is getting bigger. I don't think I look pregnant. To be honest, I think I just look fatter but on Friday I was wearing a pretty form fitting sweater and my Mom said I definitely look pregnant. She was probably just being nice. I need to get some maternity pants STAT. I just hate tight pants. The pressure on my belly is so so uncomfortable. I got one of those Be Bands from Target but I'm not really a fan. Bring on the elastic waist pants, please!

In other news, I have a UTI which stinks because all my home remedies for UTI pain are no-no's in pregnancy (super hot bath, sitting on a super hot heating pad and knocking back 3-4 advil.) So I'm suffering through it and drinking lots of water. Let's hope the antibiotics the Dr. gave me works. This particular prescription has not worked for me when I have had a UTI in the past but you never know if it will work this time so here's hoping.

Also, our home doppler came in the mail on Saturday. It is kind of early to find the heartbeat on a home doppler but I tried anyway and when I couldn't find it after 20 minutes, I confess I freaked out. I tried again later with a full bladder after I put the doppler to my neck to make sure I knew what my pulse sounds like. I was super patient and I am pretty sure I heard Love Bug's heartbeat for 3 seconds and then WOOSH...the little bugger swam away. It was so fast and loud and sounded nothing like mine.

3 more days until our NT scan where, God-willing, we will see our little babe wiggling and bouncing around with a strong steady heartbeat. What a great Christmas it will be after that!

Etsy: Some stuff I'm making

2010-10-31T03:07:00.001-04:00

As I posted the other day, I am opening an Etsy shop. Baby Isabella, my friend Kamila's not quite born yet daughter is going to model some of the stuff I am making so until then I probably will not be putting things up but I wanted to share some pictures of patterns I am working on. I am super excited because I love making this stuff.

A pea in the pod cocoon sort of like this one. Lot's of people use these for a photography prop in newborn photo shoots and stuff:

Reindeer Hats. I'm going to make a newborn sized one so that Isabella can model, then I'll sell them as made to order.

Some cozy baby booties. They remind me of little Uggs.

Some chunky baby bowls. I like this green but I think I want to make a cream colored one for Isabella to model. Maybe I'll make both.

Santa Hats. They are made with a yarn called fun fur so they are fluffy and fuzzy.

Owly hats. Started a pink one today.

Sock Monkey hats. I kind of want to make one for myself...

Some stocking hats. They remind me of Twas' the night before Christmas.

I am also planning on making my own pattern for a solid color dog sweater and then have detachable appliques to go onto it. Seasonal ones like a snowflake, shamrock, easter egg, pumpkin, etc. I'd like to make some adult sized scarves also but that will probably be down the road a bit. I am still working on the snowflake crochet blanket that has been in the works as a gift for my Mom for the past 5 Christmases. Maybe I'll actually get it done this year?

What IF: A Portrait of Infertility

2010-10-27T17:42:00.000-04:00

I'm Opening an Etsy Shop!

2010-10-25T13:05:00.000-04:00

I have been wanting to do it forever. I bit the bullet today and created a banner, opened my Etsy shop and listed my first item (Lil' Pumpkin Hat.)

I realize that its a little late to be listing a pumpkin hat. Most parents would probably want it for Halloween but I figured I need to get started and if 1 person decided to buy the hat then thats great. If no one buys it, I won't be offended or surprised.

I am working on several crochet projects that will soon be listed on Etsy plus I am making several sets of my Cougar Town inspired EAT letters.

Without further ado, here is my Etsy shop:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/CreationsGnS

Happy Harvest!!

2010-10-23T19:43:00.001-04:00

One thing that I really love about the autumn is the harvest. Every year I load up on my favorites like big bouquets of cauliflower, giant stalks of brussels sprouts and heads of yummy greens. Today though, I decided to stray out of my culinary comfort zone and play with some harvest items that I've never cooked with: Butternut Squash and Kale.

Let's talk about kale first. I've been trying to eat lots of dark leafy greens because they are high in folic acid. I came across a blog a long time ago (I would link to it but I can't find it) where the blogger made kale chips. She raved about them and I have been meaning to make them myself since then. I saw some big beautiful heads of kale at Whole Foods a few days ago and decided to try them out.

Kale chips are super easy to make. All you do is cut away the tough stems, cut up the kale into bite sized pieces, wash and dry in the salad spinner then put the kale on baking sheets with a little olive oil and salt on top. Bake for 15 minutes and that's it. They are so good! Super crispy and salty and you can not stop eating them.

I saw an episode of the Barefoot Contessa on Food Network a few weeks ago where Ina makes a butternut squash soup and it looked delicious so I decided to make it for dinner tonight. I have never cooked butternut squash before and I I now know the reason. It is super hard to peel. Peeling this 4lb. squash took FOREVER. I did it though and made a delicious soup with the squash, apples, onions, salt, pepper, curry and vegetable stock (recipe calls for chicken stock but I'm a vegetarian) and garnished it with cashews, scallions and a dollup of sour cream. Check out the recipe here.**One thing I want to let you know should you decide to make this soup: I used an immersion blender instead of a food mill or food processor and it was very easy and I imagine much less messy.**

What harvest vegetable should I try next?

I've been sperminated

2010-10-18T16:25:00.000-04:00

Yes, I said it. Sperminated. In other words, we did our fourth IUI today. Mark's sperm count post-wash was 17million with 77% motility which are really great numbers for him. The last three IUI's counts were 14 million, 8 million and 8 million so a record month for Mark!!

We are pretty sure that I am ovulating 4 eggs. I'm really liking the odds this round however I am apprehensive in getting my hopes up because I hate the bitter disappointment that comes with that hope when the end result is not what I want. A good friend pointed out to me the other day that I will be disappointed no matter what though, so I'm going to err to the side of POSITIVE and hope for the best.

I went to acupuncture right after the IUI and WOW was the treatment different. First off, she put needles in my lower stomach and my feet and toes which she has never done before. The first needles went into my pinkie toes and she warned me that it is very painful but is a direct line to the uterus. She was super surprised when I didn't even flinch. It didn't hurt me at all! She said I have a high pain tolerance. The other difference was that her assistant came into the room several times while I was laying there to put "smoke heat" on the needles in my feet and stomach. I have no idea how they did this because I was very relaxed and keeping my eyes closed but the smell from the smoke was STRONG. My hair still smells like it. I walked out of there feeling great, as usual.

I came home and took a three hour nap. I am doing everything in my power to make this IUI successful. Please, Think good thoughts for us or pray for us, whatever you are comfortable doing. We need all the help we can get.

Why was I not prepared for this???

2010-10-17T18:06:00.000-04:00

I am flipping out!!! Mark is at the Giants game so he isn't even here to talk me down!!! Look what I just got:

For those of you that don't know, that's a positive OPK as in LH SURGE!!! YAY!! Now here is where me being unprepared comes in: Dr. B's office is closed and I don't know what to do in this scenario. This has never happened before!! We need to do the IUI first thing in the morning!!! I'M FREAKING OUT!!! The message at the office says to call the answering service if it is an emergency. Is this an emergency??? What do I do??????

How do you like your eggs?

2010-10-16T10:40:00.001-04:00

I like mine at least 20mm!

But seriously, Went to Dr. B. yesterday and was pleased to find that I now have 4 follicles that have potential. There are 3 on the right: 18.5mm, 16.5mm and 10mm and I have a 10.5mm on the left.

Even though Dr. B. does not like doing IUI before a follicle is 20mm, egg maturity starts at 16mm (so a 16mm egg still has the potential of becoming a living, cutie-pie baby.) Eggs grow about 2mm a day so as long as my lutenizing hormone doesn't surge today, I have the potential of having a 24.5, 22.5, 16 and 16.5 follicles for IUI. Add two more to each number if IUI happens on Tuesday. That is pretty awesome.

That insomnia from the clomid isn't seeming so bad right now...

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss: What to Do/What Not to Do to Help

2010-10-14T18:28:00.003-04:00

The picture above is a badge made by the wonderful people at Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope for their I Am The Face campaign. October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day and the goal of the I Am The Face campaign is to try and take away the taboo and shame that goes along with a pregnancy loss. People don't like to talk about it and they don't know how to talk to or support someone going through it plus so many women never tell anyone that they are experiencing a loss because they are embarrassed. Either way, the grieving Mother usually ends up feeling isolated and alone and the I Am The Face campaign is trying to change that. If you check out their website, you will see that they have the faces of 2,000 women that have experienced this kind of loss, representing the 2,000 people that this happens to every day in the United States alone. I am face # 406.

Since it is October 15th, I wanted to post something about what to do if you know someone that going through miscarriage/stillborn/infant loss. I have read a lot of articles about this, talked to a lot of women in my support group and gotten their suggestions and just sat and thought about my own experience. These suggestions are a combination of ideas from those sources.

Before I get into my What to do/What not to do lists, I want to say something about support. Supporting someone is not always the easiest thing to do. A woman going through this might seem like they don't want your support/need your support...they do. They might not even realize it themselves. They probably do not want your advice. They definitely don't want you to explain why this happened. They might not even want to talk about it at all. But it is better for you to do something rather than nothing. A card, e-mail, or text message saying simply that you are thinking of them goes such a long way. You might not get a response because they might not be ready to respond. Giving a grieving Mother support is not always easy or convenient. They may seem "unapproachable" which makes giving support that much more difficult. If you care about them and their pain, go out of your way for them. They appreciate it even if they don't show it at the time. That being said, here is my what to do/what not to do lists that I complied from my own thoughts, suggestions from my support group and some great articles.

What To Do

- Say "I'm sorry for your loss."

- Let her talk about it as much as she needs to

- Let her NOT talk about it as much as she needs to

- Set a specific date/time to see/support her. She may not be emotionally capable of reaching out to you so you need to reach out to her.

- If the couple has other children, offer to help out with them

- Cook them a meal and drop it off. Comfort food is always a good thing.

- Let them feel how they feel for as long as they want. Be tolerant of them. Intolerance of their pain from loved ones is sometimes worse than the pain itself.

-On the same note as above, ask them how they are doing a month, 2 months, 6 months later. The pain doesn't go away when the bleeding stops.

- Give something that can act as a memorial. Be careful with flowers because some find it painful to watch them die. A plant that can be planted in the yard and blooms every year is a great idea though.

- Say something kind to them on Mother's Day, the Estimated Due Date of the baby, and the Anniversary of the loss. These milestones are hard, even years later.

What Not To Do

- Do not say any of the following: "It was God's plan, It was for the best, Everything happens for a reason." These cliches are not comforting. You do not need to explain away why this happened. "I'm sorry for your loss and I'm thinking about you" is much much more supportive and comforting.

- Do not ask if they are going to adopt now

- Do not say "You are still young."

- Do not say "It was early, it wasn't a baby yet." I know that seems OBVIOUS but to some it isn't.

- Do not say that you know how she feels. Even if you have experienced a loss yourself.

- Do not say "so-and-so had a miscarriage and she's pregnant now."

- Don't not talk about it and do not avoid her.

- Don't talk about her with others in your family or mutual friends. By that I mean, don't have conversations when she is not around that consist of "so-and-so is still depressed...she needs to get over it" and "so-and-so is so unapproachable now." It WILL get back to her and it WILL hurt. Badly.

- Do not try to cheer her up. Doing this may feel like you are not acknowledging her grief.

- Do not say "At least you know you can get pregnant."

I hope that reading this helps those who have a loved one going through this kind of loss to support them and to those that are going through a loss, I hope reading this helps you to realize that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone. Our society wants to sweep pregnancy loss under the rug and make it a hush hush topic that no one ever talks about but by doing that, we are making the aftermath of the loss so much worse for grieving parents. I think we can all agree that no one wants that.

Some articles to refer to:

http://www.preconception.com/articles/miscarriage/helping-a-friend-survive-miscarriage-3017/

http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/helping-a-friend-through-miscarriage-faq.htm

Hope

2010-10-14T01:59:00.000-04:00

Acupuncture Crunch Time

2010-10-13T12:49:00.000-04:00

I went in for some acupuncture this morning. Every time I go, Dr. Liu asks me where I am in my cycle and how close I am to IUI. Today, I told her that IUI could happen as early as Friday or maybe Sat/Sun/Mon. She surprised me by saying that as soon as the IUI was over to come into the office even if it isn't the time for my appointment or if I have no appointment. Apparently she feels that acupuncture immediately following IUI is very very very important. She also wants me to come in two more times within the next five days after that.

I love how she practices ancient Chinese medicine but respects/uses it in conjunction with Western medicine. I have a lot of respect for her and I know that if I get pregnant while under her care, I will owe it to her just as much as Dr. B.

The Life of a Reproductively Challenged Girl

2010-10-12T10:26:00.001-04:00

Since I have started being more open about our fertility struggles and what we are doing about it (along with our reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. B,) I have been getting a lot of questions involving what the process entails so here is my first post about the clomid/IUI cycle monitoring that I have done for a few cycles (this is the fourth.)

Basically, when you take clomid, it makes you ovulate, sometimes more that 1 egg. After the 5 days of taking the clomid, you start going to the RE office every few days where they do a ultrasound of your ovaries and uterine lining and bloodwork to see if you are having a lutenizing hormone surge (LH surge happens 24-48 hours before you ovulate.) If you are "surging," IUI is scheduled for the next day. If your eggs get big enough (at least 20mm) but you have no LH surge, they make you do an HCG trigger shot to make you ovulate and they do the IUI the day after the shot.

In my past 3 clomid/IUI cycles, I have produced 1 egg on 50mg, 2 on the first month of 100mg and 3 on the second month of 100mg. So naturally I was expecting to have 3 for this current, 150mg cycle, especially because the side effects were so much more severe. So yesterday I went in for my first monitoring appointment this cycle with high hopes and was a little disappointed to look at the sonogram screen and only see 2 eggs. This is what a sonogram of your ovaries looks like (it is not mine.) You can see the 5 dark circles (those are the eggs) but it looks like only one is big enough to have a positive result.

My lining was 8mm which is good. One egg was 10mm and the other was 12mm. We'll see how they progress. Another egg can still appear out of nowhere but I am going to choose to be happy about these two potential babies and think positive. I have to go back every few days for monitoring, which is exhausting, as you can imagine but hopefully worth it. Between these appointments and acupuncture appointments, I find myself consumed with all things fertility. It gets really hard at times but I am glad I am not being secretive about it anymore. How I will keep an actual pregnancy a secret from you all when it actually happens is beyond me but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it ;)

Insomnia: The Reason I am blogging at 3am

2010-10-06T03:05:00.000-04:00

Clomid is THE most prescribed fertility drug in the United States. It is super effective. It makes women ovulate multiple eggs at the same time. It is used largely in conjunction with an IUI to optimize conception (which for a 30 year old woman is about 10-12% per cycle...I know it doesn't seem very optimal, but it is.)

I am on my 4th round of Clomid. My first round was in April. I had the smallest dose (50mg) and I had little to no side effects besides feeling a little bit warmer than everyone else. In May Dr. B. upped me to 100mg and now in addition to hot flashes, I also had dizzy spells (what I can only describe as feeling like the room is spinning when my eyes are closed sort of like when you are really really drunk) and a little bit of insomnia. Same for June.

From July-September, I went on a TTC break partly because of the surgery I was going to have to remove a uterine polyp and partly because I needed a break. Scheduling conflicts kept pushing surgery back until I finally had it on 9/10/10.

Which brings me to now. The first cycle after surgery. I am now on the max dose of clomid (150mg) for the first time. HOLY INSOMNIA. And its not just that. I have this feeling of anxiousness, a really jumpy edgy feeling in the pit of my stomach 24/7...and I am only on day 2 (clomid is taken for 5 days!) It feels like I drank an entire pot of super strong coffee.

Here's the thing...I am not really complaining. If this stuff works than please, bring on the insomnia and hot flashes. But at 3am sitting at my kitchen table writing this instead of snug in my bed with Mark and Gatsby, I struggle to maintain that positive attitude.

Cougar Town EAT Letters: My Version & How-To

2010-10-04T19:54:00.001-04:00

As I posted last week I really love the EAT wall letters in the show Cougar Town and decided to make my own. I am happy to report that this craft project is completed and I am so so so happy with the result. Not to mention that it cost significantly less than it would cost to buy the letters from Anthropologie, where the letters on Cougar Town are from.

Supplies:

wooden upper-case letters already painted white from Michaels

scrapbook paper (the paper I used was all from the Citrus Stack shown here)

scissors

mod podge

brush or craft sponge

Once you have all your supplies, making these letters is super easy. You just trace the letter carefully onto the scrapbook paper you want to use, cut it out and mod podge it onto the wooden letter. After the glue dries (mod podge takes 20 minutes) cover the entire letter in mod podge several times to seal it, letting it dry for 20 minutes in between each coat. You will end up with this:

Happy/Hopeful Award

2010-10-03T22:24:00.000-04:00

My fellow Ina Garten-loving blogger MV at PeetiePie nominated me for the happy/hopeful award. Thanks MV!

So I am supposed to talk about what I am happy about/hopeful for right now.

I am so happy that my surgery is OVER. Three months of postponing and therefore NOT TTC was getting to me.

I am so happy that autumn is here. I love the crisp cool air, the foliage, the numerous apple festivals and harvest festivals that take place all over Long Island and I LOVE pumpkin picking and pumpkin carving.

I am super happy to be really productive lately. Not only have I been productive in things that I like to do (being crafty, cooking, etc.) but also in things that need to get done (I finally painted my kitchen, Hurrah!)

I am hopeful for this upcoming Clomid/IUI cycle. Dr. B says the first cycle after surgery is prime for pregnancy and I am doing acupuncture two times a week, Mark and I are on top of taking our vitamins and I have a good feeling. Hopefully my hope doesn't crush me if it doesn't work out.

Musically, I am a Hippie

2010-10-01T06:32:00.000-04:00

Mark's alarm went off at 5am this morning and for once, it woke me up instead of him. Wide awake. Not awesome for my chart (I take my temp at 6am every day) but what can I do?

So I decided to be nice and make a pot of coffee and some high protein oatmeal for Mark. Anyone that is facebook friends with me knows that I love listening to music in the morning, so much so that when a particular song that I'm feeling comes up on itunes or pandora, I feel compelled to post a link to that song on my facebook and label it "Morning Music." No one really cares, but I do it all the time.

That brings me to this morning. I had made a pandora station based on the song "The Weight" by The Band because I had that song in my head for some reason. I was swaying around my kitchen, grinding coffee beans, boiling water, wiping counters and having a great time because Crosby, Stills and Nash came on followed by John Denver followed by Jackson Browne followed by Loggins & Messina followed by Neil Young followed by John Lennon and I was loving it. Then I had a moment of clarity: musically, I am a Hippie.

I am very hippie-ish in lots of other ways too, don't get me wrong but let's just focus on music for now. Most people my age would be listening to Top 40, pop-princess, latest generic rock band whatever. I can be in the mood for that sometimes too. But if I am looking to be in a good mood or to sing along or to feel something, musically, I will take this pandora station over the Top 40 songs any day of the week.

Craft Project: EAT letters kitchen decor

2010-09-30T00:02:00.000-04:00

If you watch the show Cougar Town on ABC, then you have probably seen the super cute EAT letters on the wall in the kitchen. If you haven't, you can sort of see them in the upper right hand corner here:

I want them for my kitchen so I went to the trusty Google. Apparently lots of people have the same idea and have been crafting a variation of these for themselves and to sell on Etsy. The most popular way to make them seems to be decoupaging wooden letters with scrapbook paper like they show here.

I love the idea of making the letters of your child's name to hang over their crib/bed or to make other words for decor like Hope, Love, Home, Family, etc. but for now I want Eat, so I am going to head to Michaels and get all the supplies and make this my next non-crochet project. I'll show it off when I'm finished!

Adventures in Acupuncture

2010-09-28T08:27:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered that my health insurance covers acupuncture for fertility purposes so I figured; why not?
So last week I went to the practice that I had tried several years ago for allergies. The Dr. sits you down and goes over why you are there and then tells you what she is going to do. A few things to note:

1. According to the Dr. my meridian is not in balance because of the miscarriage. Yes, a year and a half later. I wasn't sure what that meant but I went with it. It was so calm and quiet in the office and there was some sort of earthy incense burning...how could I not go with it?

2. I was really surprised to learn that after all the needles are put in, you lay there for 45-minutes to an hour. Good thing I had no plans after my first appointment.

3. The Dr. claims that she has a very very high success rate for those doing IUI/IVF. In fact, she said that if at all possible, she asks that patients come in every single day during the week leading up to IUI.

4. Acupuncture is extremely relaxing, the needles don't really hurt and I feel fabulous when I walk out of the office after a treatment.

So I have two standing appointments on Mondays and Wednesdays. We'll see what happens!!

Newborn Pumpkin Hat

2010-09-26T09:19:00.000-04:00

Operation make Megan's hat: semi-FAIL

2010-09-24T07:28:00.000-04:00

Not a complete failure because the hat is cute and I'll give it to Megan's Mom Colleen so they can have matching hats. Fail because I was making this hat for a 5 year old and it fits my head. Wayyyyy to big.

This hat was a variation of the pattern for seija set from "The Happy Hooker" by Debbie Stoller. The flowers are from this pattern at this awesome blog: http://mycrochetstuff.blogspot.com/2008/05/little-flowers-with-leaves-free-crochet.html

Next I'll make Megan's hat for reals.

Loss Story on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

2010-09-23T14:01:00.001-04:00

I recently submitted our loss story on a really awesome website called Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. I say awesome because they are trying to take the taboo and stigma away from miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss parents so that they do not have to feel isolated and alone. It may seem like a small thing but I am immensely proud of myself for doing it. You can read my story here:

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Think Globally, Act Locally

2010-09-23T13:28:00.002-04:00

Green, Eco-friendly, Organic, Carbon Footprint, Natural.

All words that are thrown around a lot these days. What does it all mean and what can I do without breaking the bank? I'm trying to figure that out myself. Here are some things that I have learned:

1) Put your money where your mouth is: Buying local and organic food is pretty much the definition of thinking globally and acting locally. You are saving the earth from the carbon emissions that it would take to transport the food from another state/country. There is your global. You are supporting the economy of your local area by supporting the farmer that grew the food you are purchasing. There is your local. If you can't get organic local food, the next best thing is to get plain old local.

2) Re-purpose or donate: Just don't throw away. Every day more and more stuff is piled up in landfills. What happens when we have no more landfills to fill? We will be living in a world of garbage. When you want to throw something away, ask yourself: is there something else I can use this for or can it be donated to a local Salvation Army or Goodwill. Here is an example: I follow a blog that recently posted a great re-purpose for an old T-shirt. She took the t-shirt, cut it up and remade it into a newborn gown with the elastic on the bottom. The end result was so cute. If you can sew, there is no reason you should ever throw out any piece of fabric. Just think of the quilt you can make with your old clothes! That is thinking globally. Acting locally comes into play when you make donations to local thrift shops and goodwill. Those clothes sitting in your closet, waiting for you to lose 10 lbs. for you to fit into again? Donate them. Someone in your local community that is not as fortunate as you might benefit from them instead of them sitting in your closet, never seeing the light of day.

3) Not all organic is created equal. I recently started purchasing organic dairy products in place of the non-organic dairy that I have been buying for years, after seeing the deplorable conditions that the animals are kept in the documentary "Food Inc." I tried a few different brands of organic milk and my husband commented how one particular brand did not taste good at all. I decided to do a bit of research and I discovered this fabulous website: The Cornucopia Institute This independent organization researches and rates organic dairy, organic eggs and infant formula. Not surprisingly, the milk my husband complained about received a 0 rating from the study, the worst rating a dairy farm can get. Obviously, I do not purchase that milk anymore. There is also an org chart on the website that shows consumers what brands of "natural" and "organic" foods are actually owned by big name corporations that you see in the supermarket every day. It is pretty amazing how much of the food that we buy and eat is owned by this handful of companies. Gives you something to think about.

Baby Isabella's Seija Set: Completed!!

2010-09-19T22:10:00.000-04:00

If you crochet, then you probably know about "Stitch n' Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker," an awesome crochet book written by Debbie Stoller. That's where I got this super easy pattern from. Keeping with the sugar and spice color scheme from Kamila's baby shower, I made the blanket with Bernat Softee Chunky yarn in Hot Pink, Grass and White. The blanket is good for cold winter days in the car because there is a small slit that the seat belt buckle of a car seat can be slipped through.

Next up: I really need to finish the snowflake blanket I started for my Mom 5 YEARS AGO!! I am determined to be able to give it to her this Christmas. Check out the free pattern I am using to make that blanket here:
Snowflake Blanket

50 in 10': Crunch Time

2010-09-16T19:06:00.000-04:00

I went to the library yesterday to stock up on reading material. I can't believe I've only read 17 books since January 1st. Time to step it up if I am going to meet my goal. Look at all the books I took out:

Dog-Friendly Long Island or maybe I should say Dog-UNFriendly

2010-09-16T13:53:00.000-04:00

I am a frustrated Long Island dog parent. We love taking our pug Gatsby places with us and he loves being out and about and getting lots of attention from all the people we meet. Anytime and anyplace we have ever taken Gatsby, there has been at least one person that excitedly exclaimed "Look!" "A pug!" Gatsby wags his tail and gives them the puppy dog eyes and makes strangers fall in love with him every time.

I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with the dog laws on Long Island. There are way, way too many outdoor places that do not allow dogs at all. In some ways, I understand the reasons for the restrictions because I see how many people have dogs for the wrong reason and teach their dogs to be aggressive or do not socialize their dogs often enough. Laws should be taking dogs away from these people, not punishing responsible, loving dog parents.

According to LIdog.org, 45% of Long Island's population has a dog yet we can hardly bring our dogs anywhere. Long Island is not considered a dog friendly environment. According to LI Dog, current laws are outdated and do not reflect the current status of dogs in our society: a part of the family. So when we go on a family outing, we want to bring the WHOLE family...we want to bring our dog!

On Saturday, I am planning on going apple picking, followed by a trip to some dog-friendly vineyards. It never occurred to me that my dog would not be allowed to go to a farm!! I can not even tell you how many hours I have spent looking up U-pick farm websites and calling farms asking if I can bring my dog. The best answer I have gotten so far is from Wickham Fruit Farm in Cutchogue who said when asked if their apple picking is dog-friendly: "Well, we don't really like dogs here but is your dog small...can you carry him?" I'm considering buying a baby sling for Gatsby...no joke.

I have an inquiry e-mail in to Lewin Farms in Wading River asking about their dog policies. I'm hoping they get back to me sooner rather then later. My frustration is not in vain though...it is making me proactive. I am going to try and devote a blog post a week to reviewing and informing Long Islanders about places that are dog-friendly. I already have a detailed list of Long Island vineyards that are dog-friendly and will be posting that this weekend. After that, I am going to seek out places that I can bring Gatsby and post about them here. Someone needs to get the information out there!!

Guilty Pleasure Music: My Top 10

2010-09-15T10:22:00.003-04:00

Have you ever found yourself rocking out to a song that you are totally embarrassed to admit you like? We've all been there. This morning I was doing my usual make coffee/check e-mail/listen to itunes on random and Phil Collins "Throwing It All Away" came on. It got me thinking about the fact that I would never drive down the block with my windows open blasting that song...but I love it anyway.

So let's blow the lid off this shameful secret and own up to our guilty pleasure songs!

10. Up Where We Belong- Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

Cheesiest Line: "where eagles fly on a mountain high"

Reason I love it: the sentiment and Joe Cocker's raspy voice

9. Suddenly Seymore- Little Shop of Horrors 2003 Broadway Revival Cast

Cheesiest Line: "I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly. He'd snap his fingers, me I'd say sure"

Reason I love it: It's totally campy, I love the musical and it is so much fun to sing along to

8. Danny's Song- Loggins and Messina

Cheesiest Line: "Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign"

Reason I love it: I love the chorus and the sentiment

7. Both Sides Now- Judy Collins (originally Joni Mitchell)

Cheesiest Line: "Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air"

Reason I love it: It is quite possibly the most honest song about just living life that I have ever heard.

6. Let the River Run- Carly Simon (from the soundtrack of Working Girl)

Cheesiest Line: "we the great and small stand on a star and blaze a trail of desire"

Reason I love it: I'm not quite sure...I just love it. Maybe because I love Workng Girl?

5. The Winner Takes It All- ABBA

Cheesiest Line: "The Gods may throw the dice, their minds as cold as ice"

Reason I love it: I love the buildup...soft and slow to full on disco. Love to sing along while I'm vacuuming.

4. After All- Cher and Peter Cetera (from the movie Chances Are)
Cheesiest Line: "Two angels who've been rescued from the fall"
Reason I love it: I saw Chances Are in the movie theatre because there was a character named Miranda....and I fell in love with Robert Downey jr.

3. Hungry Eyes- Eric Carmen (from the movie Dirty Dancing)
Cheesiest Line: "I want to hold you so hear me out. I want to show you what love's all about"
Reason I love it: Quintessential 80's song. I love the saxophone..and I can't help but think of the music montage of Patrick Swayze teaching Jennifer Grey how to dance...swoon worthy.

2. You Give Good Love- Whitney Houston
Cheesiest Line: "take this heart of mine into your hands"
Reason I love it: the definition of a "slow jam." Plus, I love that crackhead Whitney!!

1. It's All Coming Back to Me Now- Celine Dion
Cheesiest Line: "all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying out forever"
Reason I love it: I love drama and theatrics and this song is definitely those things and more. It's got a haunting background piano and lots of strings and Wikipedia just told me that it is based on the Emily Bronte novel "Wuthering Heights." Power Ballad doesn't even begin to describe how epic this song is.

This was so hard to make! I've got lots of other guilty pleasure songs hiding in my itunes but I think this list is a good representation of them. What are your guilty pleasure songs?

Crafty Projects: Invitations

2010-09-14T04:29:00.001-04:00

Since I posted the sugar and spice baby shower invitation, I thought I would post pictures of a few more invitations I've made in the past year.

I made baby shower invitations for my Sister-In-Law's shower at the beginning of the year. They did not find out the sex of the baby before it was born so it had to be unisex and I was really surprised that there were not nearly as many cute images that were unisex at places like Fotolia and istockphoto as there were gender specific ones. I did find one image that I really loved and decided to make it the cover of the invitation:

I printed the image on heavy photo (8.5x11 that I cut down to 6x6 squares) paper then printed the inside of the invitation on white card stock.

Then I punched two holes in the top of both pieces and tied with ribbon. I actually made them with a shiny satin lemongrass ribbon but I never took a picture. I do have a picture of the sample I made for my Mother-In-Law using a ribbon I had around the house:

My next project was invitations for my Grandmother's 75th birthday party. Since I had lots of envelopes left over from making the above baby shower invitations, I decided to make the birthday invitations the same size. Again, I wasn't really good about taking pictures of the finished product so we'll just have to settle for a blurry, low-light photo taken with my iphone:

Next, I made Chris and Kamila's wedding invitations. They were having a low-key Fire Island wedding and wanted their invitation to reflect that.

The main invitation was printed on velum paper and backed with white card stock. Both were hole-punched in the left hand corner and roughly tied with some twine for a rough, beachy feel.

Then in July I made some fun invitations for my Uncle's surprise 50th birthday party:

That's all I've got for now! It's 4 in the morning and I need to get some sleep!

Sugar & Spice themed Baby Shower

2010-09-14T03:33:00.003-04:00

When I decided that I wanted the baby shower I was throwing for my friend Kamila to be sugar and spice themed, I searched the internet for ideas and came across This Post from the blog Fete Fanatic

That blog post was pretty much the only reference I had so I thought it might be a good idea to post about the sugar and spice themed shower I threw, just in case someone else out there is looking for ideas like I was.

First things first: the invitation. I have been making crafty invitations for various friends & family for the past year and have been getting lots of compliments. I wouldn't say that they are the quality that you would get from ordering your invitations from say http://www.finestationery.com/ (a favorite of mine.) I would say that they have much more of a crafty feel. I purchased some adorable vector images from istockphoto of cupcakes and themed the invitation around that:

It is just white card stock with the invitation printed on it backed with 2 different cardstocks, a solid hot pink and a pink and green stripe. I corner punched the white cardstock for a feminine feel and glued it all together.

Next thing on my mind was decorations. I knew that I was going to do round tables of five with white chairs and I wanted to have a nice centerpiece on each table. My thought process was basically like this: sugar and spice>spice>spice drops>spice drops in a vase! I went to the local craft store and purchased 10 glass vases. 5 were wide ($5 each) and 5 were skinny ($3 each). Then I bought 15 bags of spice drops for $1 each at Wal-Mart and some pretty pink and green ribbon that I spotted while I was there. The day before the shower, I went to Costco and bought 3 pink-themed bouquets for $14.99 each.

I placed the skinny vase in the middle of the wide one and filled in the space between the two with spice drops. Then I put some water and flowers in the skinny vase, tied a ribbon around both the skinny and wide vases (I used a bit of scotch double sided tape to keep the ribbon in place) and that was it! The result was 5 sugar and spice themed centerpieces that cost about $20 each.

Myself and two other women made homemade drinks for the shower and I made cute signs that I tied (and double sided taped) to the beverage dispensers that I bought from Amazon.com.

and I tied green and pink ribbon around the stemless white wine glasses that I used for the shower to add a fun, girly touch.

Since the shower was sugar and spice themed, we had a light lunch of salads and wraps and then a HUGE dessert. I got the cupcakes and cake from the bakery and everything else was from the bakery at Costco (except for the big lollipops and rock candy, which I got at Party City.)

I made an "Everything Nice" banner using letters printed on individual pieces of card stock and ribbon. I was so busy that I didn't notice when the banner started to sag so I don't have a great picture but I think you can get the idea.

I also did a story book wishing well. I found a cute pink and purple storage bin at Target and I printed a sign with the cupcake from the invitation that said "Baby's First Library."

Everyone had a great time! I hope this post helps give you ideas for throwing a sugar and spice themed shower of your own.

Or maybe this one is better?

2010-09-13T15:22:00.001-04:00

Now that I figured out how to make these cute custom siggy's, I can't decide what font I like best. I am wasting the whole day on this...

Test Post

2010-09-13T14:29:00.000-04:00

So I have been playing around with images and html/css coding and I made a fun siggy for the blog!! just posting to test it out. Now if I could only get the background I made to work, I would feel so accomplished.

Proud to be a Vegetarian

2010-09-09T23:55:00.000-04:00

At first, I was reluctant to label myself. After all, if I went around calling myself a vegetarian and then decided I wanted some turkey on Thanksgiving, I just knew there would be people that said "So much for you being a vegetarian." After a month of no meat whatsoever, lots of research and lots of recipe experimentation, I am comfortable enough (and proud) to say I am a vegetarian.

Since the day I made the decision to stop eating animals, it's like a switch has been flipped. Sort of like all the things that I always wanted to do, I now feel like I am able to do. More on that later. Why did I decide to become a vegetarian you ask? Although I made the decision in a moment, I think it was actually something that was bound to happen sooner or later. All my life, I have gotten grossed out by eating meat. I would always need it to be very well done and I could never discuss the animal my food was coming from while I was eating. If the cow or the pig or the chicken was brought up in conversation, I would always lose my appetite, sometimes unable to even swallow the meat that was in my mouth. Even though I felt this way, something always stopped me from taking the leap and becoming a vegetarian. I was concerned about how I would get enough protein in my diet. I was worried that I would eat too many carbs. I thought my food shopping bill would go up (it has, but for other reasons...more on that later.)

So this "denial" about the food I was eating was how it was for many, many years. Then one day, Mark and I were food shopping, ironically at Meat Farms. We had filled our basket up with produce, cheese, juice and lots of other yummy stuff but we hadn't picked up any meat and we both knew that there was barely anything left in the fridge at home. We went to the meat section and looked around but nothing appealed to us. I turned to Mark and said "How about we stop eating meat?" He agreed. We decided to try it out for a week.

Since then, I can not read enough/watch enough/get enough information on being a vegetarian/eating organically/buying locally/animal rights and how all those things tie in to living an eco-friendly lifestyle. I have tried new foods, watched documentaries that made me think and changed lots of my habits to reflect a greener way of life. Now that I have finally made the lifestyle change that I think I was always meant to make, it seems like all the changes that seem like nuisances (like NEVER buying bottled water, using reusable bags and spending a bit more for organic dairy products) are now completely doable, if not necessary. I have lots more to say about these topics so I'll probably be posting a lot more in the future but I'll leave you with this: I look at my dog Gatsby, who I love as if he were a child that I gave birth to and I know that somewhere in the world, someone is eating a dog (yes, people eat dogs and dolphins and cats and lots of other animals that we love) and I know that I can never again eat another animal.

Book Reviews: The Southern Vampire Mysteries (Sookie Stackhouse Novels) by Charlaine Harris

2010-08-22T23:32:00.001-04:00

Being a huge True Blood fan, I felt it was 100% necessary to read the books that the series is based on. My friend Stefanie gave me the first seven and I flew through them. There are three more in addition to the seven that I've read and the author is still writing new novels for the series.

Let me first say that the books are a lot like the show in some ways and completely different in other ways. The first book especially is very much like the first season. After that, the television series has seemed to stray further and further from the books, using bits of the mythology and plot but not really following the books as completely as the first season. I love them both so I am not going to say I like one or the other better. They are too different to even try and pick a favorite. The books have, however, made me appreciate certain things about the television series more. For instance, I love love love the character of Eric after reading the first seven books. I really liked him before. Now I LOVE him.

Charlaine Harris has created a world in the Southern Vampire Mysteries that is so intricate and awesome, I have to go ahead and give the first seven novels 5 stars each. The books are easy reads. I flew through them. They definitely not dumbed down romance novels though. There is a lot of political and social commentary in the subtext that can keep an anti-romance reader interested. For the romance lovers...there is a lot of sex. Vampire sex, Werewolf sex, shape-shifter sex, Fae sex...any kind of sex you can imagine. There is something for everyone!

I loved every book but my favorites were books 3&4: Club Dead and Dead to the World. You'll see why when you read them :)

Book Review: Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner

2010-06-28T21:58:00.000-04:00

I read this book on whim when I had nothing else to read and I really wanted to take a bubble bath. For some reason, it is impossible for me to take a bubble bath without reading. I bought the paperback version of this book over a year ago when I was going on vacation to the Dominican Republic. I read it so fast when I was there, and I remembered really liking it but I didn't remember the details so I figured it was a good book to reread. I really like Jennifer Weiner but she is a little predictable. Her main character is always a thirty-forty something Jewish woman with weight issues. Certain Girls was no different.

We do however also get another POV, that of the main character's daughter. The book goes back and fourth between the POV's of them both, which held my interest. It is a great commentary on the push and pull of the relationship between a Mother and her teenage daughter that I think any woman can relate too. It is also funny, sweet and also sad. I would recommend it. Definitely an easy read.

Book Review: Nice Girls Do by Sarah Duncan

2010-06-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

I came upon this book the way that I discover a lot of books that I end up loving; while browsing the new book section at the Sachem Public Library. When I have nothing to read and I don't have any particular book in mind to pick up, I usually hit the new book section and start browsing. This is where the marketing department at publishing houses becomes an integral part of my reading experience. I usually pick up a book based on two things: what the cover looks like and what the title is. Over the years, I've noticed the cover seems to be the most influential on me. If it is pretty, girly, bright and cute, it's a pretty sure bet I'm going to pick it up. This is exactly what happened with Nice Girls Do.

Basically, the main character is a garden historian and is hired by this rich woman to do research. She meets the gardener of the Estate and also a wealthy businessman wand what we get is a good old soapy love triangle. I don't really want to spoil any of the book because I really liked it and recommend it. It you like chick-lit, you will probably like this book.

50 in 10 continues

2010-06-28T07:06:00.000-04:00

Despite my lack of blogging, My goal of reading 50 books in the year 2010 has continued. I got sidetracked by some other projects for a bit but summer is here (prime reading time) and I am stepping up my game. So because I am so committed, I am going to review all the books I have read since I last blogged...today!

In other news, I am currently reading the first Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire novel (the books that the TV show True Blood is based on) and it is a seriously great summer read. I highly recommend it if you like snarky, sexy mystery with a side of blood sucking.

Bad Girl!

2010-06-01T06:29:00.001-04:00

I've been a bad, bad blogger. I am so ashamed. Sorry followers, I am going to update today and tomorrow. I've got lots to say!

Book Review: Whitehorn Woods by Maeve Binchy

2010-02-07T00:10:00.000-05:00

When I was young, I read all Maeve Binchy's books. Circle of Friends, Tara Road, Light A Penny Candle, etc. They were all fabulous. Maeve Binchy is from Ireland and writes about the Irish countryside, Irish ways and the relationships of Irish people. Then she sort of fell off my radar. So when I searched Barnes and Noble for books to read and found out she is churning out books again, I decided to try one out.

Whitehorn Woods is a novel but it is comprised of several short stories that sort of intertwine, in a Love Actually sort of way. I liked it. I didn't love it.

Until I read a book that I really like, these reviews are pretty much going to suck.

Book Review: Outlander by Diane Gabaldon

2010-02-06T23:15:00.001-05:00

Let me first start by saying that this book came highly recommended by several different people and I was really expecting to like it. I am perfectly willing to suspend disbelief and accept time travel. I am also not above a good, sappy romance and I am certainly not against a little (or a lot of) smut. This book has all those things, plus the added benefit of a setting I am very interested in (Scotland, circa mid 1700's, the time of clans.)

Still with all those things I was unable to ever get into the story or to take anything really seriously. It was just way too soapy for me, and I LOVE soap operas, so that says something. I did read the whole thing (it was pretty long) but I struggled through it.

You can read the Barnes and Noble review HERE

50 in '10: Chugging Away

2010-01-21T08:22:00.000-05:00

Last week was a super productive one in terms of working on my 50 reads in 2010. That ridiculously awful book True Colors set me back a few days but I am back in the saddle with 4 books checked out of the library. I started the first one last night but it is kind of on the larger side so it may take me a week or so. I am reading Outlander by Diane Gabaldon. I am hearing lots of people love this series of books so I figured I would try it out. Plus it is set in Scotland, where my people are from!

after Outlander, I have on these books on deck:

A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood

Day After Night by Anita Diamant

Whitethorn Woods by Maeve Binchy

~Miranda

I am really excited for...

2010-01-19T14:46:00.000-05:00

LOST!!! The final season of probably one of the best television shows ever begins on February 2nd on ABC and I am so excited and so sad that it will be over. If you haven't watched LOST before but want to, check out this video that recaps the past 5 season in 8 minutes:

And just one note: if Kate ends up with Jack and not Sawyer, I am going to be pissed.

Menu Plan Monday: January 18, 2009

2010-01-17T23:57:00.000-05:00

I didn't make the meal that I planned for last Friday, so I am bumping that up to this week. I am also going to try to use my crock pot at least once this week because I like to relax with Mark on weeknights when he comes home and if I am cooking dinner, I usually have pots and dishes and cutting boards to clean up. I hate just leaving the stuff in the sink and I hate cleaning all night so making something in the crock pot allows me to make the mess in the morning and gives me plenty of time to have everything cleaned up by noon.

Here it is:

Monday: Penne Pasta with Sausage and Cheesy Garlic Bread

Tuesday: Baked Lemon Chicken and salad

Wednesday: Slow Cooker Pot Roast and spinach

Thursday: Progresso Corn Chowder and Grilled Cheese

Friday: Turkey Tacos and Mock Sangria

I haven't decided if I should plan for Saturdays and Sundays yet. We certainly didn't need meals to be planned this past weekend so I am thinking I won't for the time being.

Oh and check out I'm An Organizing Junkie. It's a pretty awesome blog.

~Miranda

Thoughts On Movies, Moviegoers and My New Favorite Place To See A Movie

2010-01-15T21:34:00.003-05:00

Mark and I belong to Netflix. In addition to getting the DVD's and Blue Ray's in the mail, we also have the Roku box so we can watch anything available in the "watch instantly" section on our TV whenever we want. Because of this, we rarely go to the movies. Our new TV is so awesome that it is like being in a theatre anyway so why spend $20 on tickets and $20 on a soda and popcorn? Not to mention the fact that every single time I go to the movies I want to strangle someone for talking on their phone, not putting their phone on vibrate, crinkling their popcorn bag too much, having an entire conversation with their wife/husband/friend/child, etc. I mean seriously!!! Why are people so RUDE??

Example: I went to the movies 2 Sunday's ago with Mark and Kristin. The family in front of us was having an ENTIRE CONVERSATION. The teenage son was doing something rude that I can't remember. Talking or answering his phone or something and then the Mom felt that right in the middle of the movie was the time to call his name and reprimand him about it. Seriously lady, wait until the movie is over. He wasn't even doing it anymore. You are just making it worse. They got the dreaded SHHHHHHHHH from me. I can SHHHH like nobody's business. My SHHH will send chills up your spine.

Example 2: Kristin and I went to see an independent film last week that was very somber and serious. We sat in the last row and a few seats down from us was a middle aged couple. the woman looked about 50 and was dressed like she was 15. Before the movie started they were making out like horny teenagers. Then during the movie she kept talking to him and to the movie. The main character said something profound about love and life and she literally talked back to the screen saying something like "SO TRUE!!" This went on throughout the movie. I think she was on something to be honest with you.

Obviously this month I have been going to the movies much more than I usually do. I have gone to 3 whole movies at the movie theatre!! 2 were at my new favorite place to see a movie: Cinema Arts of Huntington and the other was Avatar which must be seen in 3D so we went to Stony Brook Loews to see it.

Let's talk about Cinema Arts for a minute. I went there once before but never thought much about it. A few weeks ago Kristin sent me the trailer for this movie:

and it looked so good! I love period pieces, movies about England's Royal family and Emily Blunt so this was a must see. The only place playing it was Cinema Arts so off we went. The movie was great and it was empty! No kids anywhere. No annoying teenagers with their annoying friends. Just a sprinkling of adults eating organic popcorn and watching a good movie that apparently movie theatres have deemed not suitable for mainstream public consumption.
On our way out we saw this poster:

We went to go see it the next week without even looking to see what it was about. Why? Because Colin Firth is in it. That should be all the explanation you need. The movie was great. Artsy,dark and somber. Basically Colin Firth is a gay man living in the 1960's who's partner was killed in a car accident and he was not even allowed to go to the funeral. This is also where we encountered talks back to the screen lady. But even she could not ruin Cinema Arts for me. I really love the movies they play there and I am going to keep going. Check out a movie there if you can. It is the only place on LI to see independent films and it needs to stay open. You can find out more about Cinema Arts and what is playing HERE

~Miranda

Blog Awards!

2010-01-15T13:48:00.001-05:00

Mary from the Blog Peetie Pie gave Lanes On Long Island a blog award!!

Behold the Happy Blog Award:

The Rules:

List 10 things that make you happy

Pass it on to 10 Bloggers that make your day a better one

1. Mark

2. Gatsby

3. Kristin & Kamila

4. Farley, Mclovin and Snoop Dog

5. A sunny day on the beach in winter

6. When I listen to Itunes on shuffle and a song that fits my mood PERFECTLY comes on

7. The supportive ladies at TTCAL

8. The library

9. Snow on the ground before someone comes along and walks on it

10. Vinyasa Yoga

I'm passing the award on to:

Only Time Will Tell (A brand new blog but already fabulous!)

Wannabe Wino Wine Blog

EcoMomics (who inspired me to start couponing)

Shea Family

You Me and Baby Make Three

Kniption Fits

A Day In The Life of Our Pugs

Beautifully Flawed

One Love

Colleen & Megan

~Miranda

How I Make Tomato Sauce

2010-01-14T13:39:00.001-05:00

Since I am doing Menu Plan Monday now, I thought that every so often I would add one of the recipes I make from the “recipe box in my head.” So I figured I would start with a basic: tomato sauce.

Before I tell you how I make my sauce let me just say that I HATE jar sauce. It is too sweet, is full of preservatives and is nutritionally not nearly as good for you as home made sauce. I will eat it if I am at someone’s house and they use it but I am usually not thrilled. When I make my sauce, I make a lot then I freeze some for later use. I never measure but I will try to estimate for blogging purposes.

WHAT YOU NEED:

a large pot, preferably with a cover

extra virgin olive oil

1 head of garlic

1 large yellow onion or 2 small yellow onions

Fresh basil (you can use dried if you want)

Red wine (optional)

1 28oz can San Marzano crushed tomatoes

Salt and Pepper

Coat the bottom of the pot with the olive oil and put over low heat. Dice the onion and add to the pot. Dice the garlic and add to the pot. Raise the heat to medium-high. Cook until the onion is soft and semi-clear but do not let the garlic burn. Add the San Marzano tomatoes. Add around 1 cup of red wine.

At this point, bring the sauce to a boil and then drop the heat back to low. Cook uncovered until the sauce is a bit thicker. Season with salt, pepper and chopped up fresh basil to taste. You can also use dried Italian seasonings if you like. Once the sauce is seasoned, simmer covered for as long as you want. The longer it cooks the better it will taste.

~Miranda

Couponing

2010-01-14T11:17:00.002-05:00

About 10 years ago, when I worked at Empire BCBS, there was this woman that always had all the ads from the Sunday paper on her desk. One day I was talking to her about plans for the night and I mentioned that I had to stop at the store on the way home because I needed conditoner. She proceeded to go out to her car and get a bottle of pantene pro-v. She told me not to worry about it because she got it for pennies. Literally pennies. Like $.07.

I came to find out that she had a ridiculous stock of food and products at her house that she spent next to nothing on because she was a coupon shopper. Every week she cut out coupons then scoured all the stores in our area for that item to be on sale. If the store doubled coupons, even better. She would show me receipts that showed savings of $50+ in one trip. It was crazy. I never forgot that.

Fast forward to now, Mark and I are trying to save and I am not working so I figured I would give it a try. We don't really need much but I wanted to get started so I cut coupons from last weekend's paper and went through all the ads. Did you all know that King Kullen doubles coupons up to $1 and you do not even need a store card. I NEVER shop there, I always feel that their prices are too high but I figured if I get sale items only and have coupons, I can selectively shop there. Anywho, Ken's salad dressing (16 oz. bottles) are on sale 2 for $4 and I had 2 $1 coupons when you buy 2 bottles. So I got 4 bottles. They ended up being $1 each after all that. Fabulous right! My first couponing purchase was a success. They retail for $3.79 each so I saved $11.16!!

They also had a sale on Tropicana OJ. $1.79 each (limit 2) but only if you spend $25 in other purchases. Luckily, I needed a few other things that were on sale there (Progresso Soup 2 for $3, Shredded Cheese 2 for $5, Dutch County Bread 2 for $4, and a few other things) so I got 2 half gallons of Low Acid OJ for $1.79 each. I was impressed with myself.

The most exciting part is the fun little box on the bottom of the receipt that tells you what you saved. Here is what mine said:
SAVINGS:
No-Clip Coupons: $31.86
Mfs. Coupons: $2.00
Double Coupons: $2.00
Other Coupon: $2.40

Total Savings: $38.26

I know this is no big deal for you professional couponers out there, but not bad for my first try, don't you think?

~Miranda

Book Review (another sort of): True Colors

2010-01-13T13:00:00.001-05:00

This isn't really a book review, more of a warning. I tried (really tried) to read this book. Every time I picked it up I started to nod off. Yes, it is boring. I have never read Kristin Hannah before and I was excited to try her out because she has written so many other books but guess what everyone: quantity does not equal quality. So I can not add this book to my 50 in '10 list. I could have struggled through it for the sake of my list but what fun is that? I would rather NOT hit my goal of 50 in '10 and read books that I like than hit the 50 and not like half the books on the list.

As of now, have nothing home to read except dog training books, Ina Garten cookbooks, and crochet pattern books. Guess I am going to the library today.

~Miranda

Book Review (sort of): An Exact Replica Of A Figment Of My Imagination

2010-01-12T17:27:00.001-05:00

I read this book in one day. It is sad and hopeful, about an American woman living in France that has a stillborn birth in the 40th week. I would review more but just thinking about it makes me sad. Barnes and Noble has some good reviews:
Barnes and Noble Reviews

I am starting True Colors by Kristin Hannah today. I never heard of her before but someone recommended this book to me and I was pleasantly surprised to find when I went to get it at the library that she has lots of other titles. Hopefully I like this, then I will have a bunch of books to add to my list.

~Miranda

Playing the What If Game

2010-01-11T13:20:00.000-05:00

Today is the Estimated Due Date for our pregnancy last May (that resulted in a miscarriage at 7 weeks in case you didn't know.) It is weird because I find myself playing the what if game. What if I didn't have a miscarriage? Would that baby be here already or would I still be pregnant? Was the baby a boy or a girl? Would we have stuck with the names we liked early on (Aiden and Mackayla?) What else would be different about our lives?

I never really talk about the miscarriage anymore except with a handful of people, simply because the subject makes people uncomfortable. I have noticed that in general, our society wants us to get over it and never mention it again. The sooner the better. It is such a taboo subject yet it happens to 1 in 5 pregnancies. It makes me sad that there are people that have gone through the same thing but never tell anyone.

The reality is usually, the Mom doesn't get over it. It changes you as a person. And yes I say Mom because I am one. The second you get that positive pregnancy test, you are a Mom. You are in love with your baby.

Mark is home today and we are spending the day together, relaxing and hanging out with Gatsby. I hope to stop playing the what if game after today is over. Not so I can move on because I don't think I ever will but so I can move forward.

Menu Plan Monday: January 11. 2010

2010-01-11T01:56:00.001-05:00

Another one of my 2010 goals is to get more organized. I have been reading a blog about organization (Organizing Junkie)and discovered that one way a lot of people stay organized (and save $$) is by planning out meals for the week. I actually have been doing this for two weeks now but since another of my 2010 goals is to blog a lot more, I am going to start posting my meal plans (with recipes when it is something I don't make from the recipe box in my bain) every Sunday night/Monday Morning.

Here's this week's meals:
Monday: Lemon Chicken Soup with Spaghetti, Salad

Tuesday: Baked Pork Chops with Parmesan Sage Crust, spinach, rice

Wednesday: Turkey Chipotle Chili with Pepper Jack Cheese Corn Cake Toppers

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Penne Pasta with Sausage and Cheesy Garlic Bread, spinach salad

And go check out I'm an Organizing Junkie. It's a very cool blog.

~Miranda

50 in '10: Me too.

2010-01-10T12:10:00.003-05:00

I've always wondered how much I actually read in a year. I'm doing this 50 in '10 to track what I read. I've gotten off to a slow start, but at least I have one down.

List so far:

1. Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay

Reading: Light of the Falling Stars by J. Robert Lennon

-Mark