I've been sperminated

Yes, I said it. Sperminated. In other words, we did our fourth IUI today. Mark's sperm count post-wash was 17million with 77% motility which are really great numbers for him. The last three IUI's counts were 14 million, 8 million and 8 million so a record month for Mark!! 

We are pretty sure that I am ovulating 4 eggs. I'm really liking the odds this round however I am apprehensive  in getting my hopes up because I hate the bitter disappointment that comes with that hope when the end result is not what I want. A good friend pointed out to me the other day that I will be disappointed no matter what though, so I'm going to err to the side of POSITIVE and hope for the best.

I went to acupuncture right after the IUI and WOW was the treatment different. First off, she put needles in my lower stomach and my feet and toes which she has never done before. The first needles went into my pinkie toes and she warned me that it is very painful but is a direct line to the uterus. She was super surprised when I didn't even flinch. It didn't hurt me at all! She said I have a high pain tolerance. The other difference was that her assistant came into the room several times while I was laying there to put "smoke heat" on the needles in my feet and stomach. I have no idea how they did this because I was very relaxed and keeping my eyes closed but the smell from the smoke was STRONG. My hair still smells like it. I walked out of there feeling great, as usual. 

I came home and took a three hour nap. I am doing everything in my power to make this IUI successful. Please, Think good thoughts for us or pray for us, whatever you are comfortable doing. We need all the help we can get.

Why was I not prepared for this???

I am flipping out!!! Mark is at the Giants game so he isn't even here to talk me down!!! Look what I just got:

For those of you that don't know, that's a positive OPK as in LH SURGE!!! YAY!! Now here is where me being unprepared comes in: Dr. B's office is closed and I don't know what to do in this scenario. This has never happened before!! We need to do the IUI first thing in the morning!!! I'M FREAKING OUT!!! The message at the office says to call the answering service if it is an emergency. Is this an emergency??? What do I do??????

How do you like your eggs?

I like mine at least 20mm!

But seriously, Went to Dr. B. yesterday and was pleased to find that I now have 4 follicles that have potential.  There are 3 on the right: 18.5mm, 16.5mm and 10mm and I have a 10.5mm on the left.

Even though Dr. B. does not like doing IUI before a follicle is 20mm, egg maturity starts at 16mm (so a 16mm egg still has the potential of becoming a living, cutie-pie baby.) Eggs grow about 2mm a day so as long as my lutenizing hormone doesn't surge today, I have the potential of having a 24.5, 22.5, 16 and 16.5 follicles for IUI. Add two more to each number if IUI happens on Tuesday. That is pretty awesome.

That insomnia from the clomid isn't seeming so bad right now...

Acupuncture Crunch Time

I went in for some acupuncture this morning. Every time I go, Dr. Liu asks me where I am in my cycle and how close I am to IUI. Today, I told her that IUI could happen as early as Friday or maybe Sat/Sun/Mon. She surprised me by saying that as soon as the IUI was over to come into the office even if it isn't the time for my appointment or if I have no appointment. Apparently she feels that acupuncture immediately following IUI is very very very important. She also wants me to come in two more times within the next five days after that.

I love how she practices ancient Chinese medicine but respects/uses it in conjunction with Western medicine. I have a lot of respect for her and I know that if I get pregnant while under her care, I will owe it to her just as much as Dr. B.

The Life of a Reproductively Challenged Girl

Since I have started being more open about our fertility struggles and what we are doing about it (along with our reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. B,) I have been getting a lot of questions involving what the process entails so here is my first post about the clomid/IUI cycle monitoring that I have done for a few cycles (this is the fourth.) 

Basically, when you take clomid, it makes you ovulate, sometimes more that 1 egg. After the 5 days of taking the clomid, you start going to the RE office every few days where they do a ultrasound of your ovaries and uterine lining and bloodwork to see if you are having a lutenizing hormone surge (LH surge happens 24-48 hours before you ovulate.) If you are "surging," IUI is scheduled for the next day. If your eggs get big enough (at least 20mm) but you have no LH surge, they make you do an HCG trigger shot to make you ovulate and they do the IUI the day after the shot.

In my past 3 clomid/IUI cycles, I have produced 1 egg on 50mg, 2 on the first month of 100mg and 3 on the second month of 100mg. So naturally I was expecting to have 3 for this current, 150mg cycle, especially because the side effects were so much more severe. So yesterday I went in for my first monitoring appointment this cycle with high hopes and was a little disappointed to look at the sonogram screen and only see 2 eggs. This is what a sonogram of your ovaries looks like (it is not mine.) You can see the 5 dark circles (those are the eggs) but it looks like only one is big enough to have a positive result.

My lining was 8mm which is good. One egg was 10mm and the other was 12mm. We'll see how they progress. Another egg can still appear out of nowhere but I am going to choose to be happy about these two potential babies and think positive. I have to go back every few days for monitoring, which is exhausting, as you can imagine but hopefully worth it. Between these appointments and acupuncture appointments, I find myself consumed with all things fertility. It gets really hard at times but I am glad I am not being secretive about it anymore. How I will keep an actual pregnancy a secret from you all when it actually happens is beyond me but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it ;)

Insomnia: The Reason I am blogging at 3am

Clomid is THE most prescribed fertility drug in the United States. It is super effective. It makes women ovulate multiple eggs at the same time. It is used largely in conjunction with an IUI to optimize conception (which for a 30 year old woman is about 10-12% per cycle...I know it doesn't seem very optimal, but it is.)

I am on my 4th round of Clomid. My first round was in April. I had the smallest dose (50mg) and I had little to no side effects besides feeling a little bit warmer than everyone else. In May Dr. B. upped me to 100mg and now in addition to hot flashes, I also had dizzy spells (what I can only describe as feeling like the room is spinning when my eyes are closed sort of like when you are really really drunk) and a little bit of insomnia. Same for June.

From July-September, I went on a TTC break partly because of the surgery I was going to have to remove a uterine polyp and partly because I needed a break. Scheduling conflicts kept pushing surgery back until I finally had it on 9/10/10.

Which brings me to now. The first cycle after surgery. I am now on the max dose of clomid (150mg) for the first time. HOLY INSOMNIA. And its not just that. I have this feeling of anxiousness, a really jumpy edgy feeling in the pit of my stomach 24/7...and I am only on day 2 (clomid is taken for 5 days!) It feels like I drank an entire pot of super strong coffee.

Here's the thing...I am not really complaining. If this stuff works than please, bring on the insomnia and hot flashes. But at 3am sitting at my kitchen table writing this instead of snug in my bed with Mark and Gatsby, I struggle to maintain that positive attitude.

Happy/Hopeful Award

My fellow Ina Garten-loving blogger MV at PeetiePie nominated me for the happy/hopeful award. Thanks MV!

So I am supposed to talk about what I am happy about/hopeful for right now.

I am so happy that my surgery is OVER. Three months of postponing and therefore NOT TTC  was getting to me.

I am so happy that autumn is here. I love the crisp cool air, the foliage, the numerous apple festivals and harvest festivals that take place all over Long Island and I LOVE pumpkin picking and pumpkin carving.

I am super happy to be really productive lately. Not only have I been productive in things that I like to do (being crafty, cooking, etc.) but also in things that need to get done (I finally painted my kitchen, Hurrah!)

I am hopeful for this upcoming Clomid/IUI cycle. Dr. B says the first cycle after surgery is prime for pregnancy and I am doing acupuncture two times a week, Mark and I are on top of taking our vitamins and I have a good feeling. Hopefully my hope doesn't crush me if it doesn't work out.

Adventures in Acupuncture

I recently discovered that my health insurance covers acupuncture for fertility purposes so I figured; why not?
So last week I went to the practice that I had tried several years ago for allergies. The Dr. sits you down and goes over why you are there and then tells you what she is going to do. A few things to note:

1. According to the Dr. my meridian is not in balance because of the miscarriage. Yes, a year and a half later. I wasn't sure what that meant but I went with it. It was so calm and quiet in the office and there was some sort of earthy incense burning...how could I not go with it?

2. I was really surprised to learn that after all the needles are put in, you lay there for 45-minutes to an hour. Good thing I had no plans after my first appointment.

3. The Dr. claims that she has a very very high success rate for those doing IUI/IVF. In fact, she said that if at all possible, she asks that patients come in every single day during the week leading up to IUI.

4. Acupuncture is extremely relaxing, the needles don't really hurt and I feel fabulous when I walk out of the office after a treatment.

So I have two standing appointments on Mondays and Wednesdays. We'll see what happens!!