Cloth Diapering a Newborn: 6 Weeks

Ethan is six weeks old. For four of those six weeks, we have been cloth diapering him. We have three types of diapers we've been using for the newborn stage and I thought I'd do a quick review of them in case anyone is interested, and also go over the laundry process so everyone can see how easy it really is!

This is our stash for the "newborn" stage.

We are working on our stash for the rest of Ethan's diapering now.

Diaper #1: Bum Genius 3.0 All-In-One Size XS

 Fits 6-12lbs

# in stash: 8

These diapers are all-in-one meaning all you need is the one diaper (no stuffing inserts or covers.) They have an adjustable velcro closure and have a pretty low rise. For some babies, they are able to wear these diapers before their umbilical stump falls off but for Ethan, they were too high to do that. One issue we have sometimes with these diapers is leaks through the top. You have to make sure you close the tabs very tightly or you will have a very wet baby. They wash beautifully and are the least bulky cloth diaper we have. Overall we are happy with them. 

Diaper #2: FuzziBunz Perfect Size Diaper XS

Fits 8-12lbs

 # in stash 14

These are pocket diapers meaning you have to stuff them with an insert. They come with a microfiber one, but you can always buy your own in other absorbent materials such as hemp. They snap closed and are adjustable. With these diapers, we were initially having leakage problems through the leg holes, but as his legs have gotten chubbier, that problem has solved itself. Stuffing them is kind if annoying compared to the BG AIO's, so it's best to stuff them right out of the laundry so they are good to go when you need them.

Diaper #3: Kissaluv's Cotton Fleece Fitted Diaper Size 0

Fits: 5-15lbs

# in stash: 6

These diapers are fitted diapers. This means they need a waterproof cover in addition to the diaper. We have never had a leak with this diaper (used with the Thirsties cover below.) We were also able to use them right away because there is a snap down option so the diaper does not rub the umbilical cord stump. This diaper on its own is very bulky. Add the cover and you've got one fluffy butt! I don't view that as a negative...I think it is super cute! I  have read of other Mom's complaining about bulkiness though so I thought it was worth mentioning.

Thirsties Duo Diaper Cover XS (For use w/kissaluv's)

Fits: 5-12lbs

 # in stash 3

As I said, we are using these covers with the kissaluv's. Since we have had no leaks, I have no complaints. 

As far as laundry goes, cloth diapering has been a breeze. We use Rockin Green Barenaked Babies Soft Rock since we have very soft water on Long Island. We bought a simple, white plastic garbage can with a lid and two Planet Wise Diaper Pail Liners. Every other day, we dump all the dirty diapers, covers and inserts in the washing machine along with the pail liner and run a rinse cycle with no detergent. Then we put in a Tbsp. of Rockin Green, and run a whites cycle. If the weather is nice, we hang the diapers on the clothesline and the sun bleaches any stains out. If it is raining, everything goes in the dryer on low. It is really very easy.

We have some FuzziBunz size small and some BumGenius One Size Fits all. Hopefully Ethan will fit into his newborn stage diapers for a while longer (he is currently 10.11lbs.) Our original plan was to hold onto all the diapers, should we ever decide to try for another child but they are in such good condition and have such a high resale value that we may sell them to fund the next stage. I'll keep you posted!

Early AM Thoughts on Being a First Time Mom

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a while. My sweet baby boy Ethan is six weeks old! He is getting so big and doing new things every day. I am just so happy to be his Mom. I waited so long and tried so hard to get here, so I feel as though I need to appreciate it (and him) that much more. And I do. The strength of my love for him can not be measured. It is infinite.

But there is something else I want to talk about. Something that lots of people don't talk about: the emotional roller coaster that is new motherhood. Let's just say, I was not prepared. In fact, I was quite shocked. I think I tried so hard and waited so long to be his Mom...the idea was up on such a high pedestal, that I couldn't imagine anything but pure bliss...and it is bliss. Just not all the time. I want to address what I have found to be the two big myths and realities I've encountered. It is my personal experience. Maybe some of this stuff came easier to other women but I wanted to write this because I had a week or two there where I thought it was just me and that maybe I was developing PPD. I wasn't. In fact I was 100% normal. People just don't talk about this stuff.

Myth #1: Breastfed newborns eat every 2-3 hours.
Reality: Every baby is different and a lot of the time, the first 6 weeks of life is one big, giant cluster feed/growth spurt. Some factors add to this like having a larger baby.  I was so unprepared for this, it's not even funny. It is so much pressure to be the sole nutritional source for your baby. Add to that the fact that in order to start up a good milk supply for the future, you have to feed on demand (which in my case during a few days around the 3 week old mark meant Ethan having 17 feedings varying from 25 mins-50 mins each in a 24 hour period,) extreme sleep deprivation and raging postpartum hormones, and you've got one very stressed out Mama. I cried...a lot. It is just now getting better. He is going longer stretches between feedings and I am pumping so Mark can give him a bottle 1x a day. But those first five weeks were so, so tough on me.

Myth #2: You should sleep when the baby sleeps
Reality: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. First of all, when I first got home, I couldn't sleep when he slept because I was paranoid that he would stop breathing in his sleep. Not fun. Then there is the laundry and the dishes. It is really easy to say they can wait for later. We all know that stuff has to get done. For me, having chaos and messiness around me while I was stuck on the couch feeding Ethan non-stop all day just increased my stress and anxiety that I had from all the postpartum hormones. So if I chose to spend a naptime cleaning instead of sleeping and then Ethan woke up and then stayed up all night cluster feeding, I was getting little or no sleep. And I cried...a lot.


Let's add to this a few things:

-Pressure from friends and family to visit/visit them/attend family functions...uh...I had no sleep, my boobs are leaking, I have no time to shower and my place is a mess and you want to come over?

-But. but, but...can't you just pump? Great idea. Why didn't I think of that? So when he is screaming bloody murder for boob, (90 % of the entire day) I'll just ignore him and pump instead so it is easier for everyone else.

-Postpartum pain. Ethan was 9lbs 1 oz. I pushed him out. There was tearing. Enough said.

-The baby blues/emotional ups and downs. One second I was laughing, smiling and happy. Next second I was hysterical crying. It's normal but when you are in it, it doesn't feel normal.

What you get is a very, tired and very emotionally drained Mom. I kind of felt like every day was an accomplishment just making it through the day. Everything felt bigger than it really was. It was hard.

But, every day is better than the day before. We are so in love with our little boy. Feeding him is getting so much easier and I am getting more sleep now. I love being a Mom. I would describe the first weeks as magical, exciting, anxiety-filled, stressful, happy, emotional, crazy and awesome. I just kind of wish I read a post like this so I was a little more prepared for what I was in for. Or I might not have believed it...who knows?

I WILL be a better blogger. I've got a fun cloth diaper post coming up as requested by Karen via twitter :)

Ethan's Birth Story

It has been a long time, blog! I've been kind of busy tending to my chunky monkey...but more on that in another post. This post is all about how monkey got here.

I was getting impatient when July 11th aka due date rolled around. I was increasingly uncomfortable, swollen and just plain old impatient. People were starting to call and text and I was hearing a lot of "you didn't have that baby yet?" I tried all the "tricks." Nothing was making this kid want to self evict. By the time my midwife appointment at 41 weeks 5 days rolled around, I was beginning to accept that I was going to have to be induced 2 days later. I wasn't happy about it. I am not a fan of pitocin and I had been preparing myself and hoping for a natural childbirth. Really, it was more the lack of control that was getting to me. I wanted labor and childbirth on my terms and with every day that passed by, I felt like more and more of the control was getting put into the hands of the hospital.

Saturday, July23rd, I woke up, sat on the couch and had a good cry about the induction coming up the next day. Mark and I decided to do a big Costco shopping extravaganza since we figured Ethan would be here by Monday or Tuesday the latest and we had no food in the house. Last thing we wanted to do was come home from the hospital and have to go food shopping. We bought a lot of stuff and we were there walking around for quite some time. I was waddling ridiculously and getting a lot of looks and glances from people who were probably sure that I was going to give birth right then and there just based on the way I was huffing and puffing trying to get around. I took a nice long nap (those were the days!) when we got back and Mark cleaned and made sauce and lasagna. He was so proud of it (he never made homemade sauce or a lasagna before, that is always my job) and when I woke up he wanted me to taste it but I didn't want to because I WOKE UP HAVING CONTRACTIONS! Hallelujah!

I always talk about how much I like to do my research and read everything I can about whatever topics are pertinent to my life at the moment and usually, being a researcher has paid off for me. I find comfort in knowing what is going to happen and being informed. Yea. Reading did not prepare me for contractions 2 minutes apart from the first one and excruciating back labor. I labored at home with the contractions increasing in intensity from 9:30pm-12:30pm. At that point, since they were still 2 minutes apart, we headed to the hospital. Poor Gatsby was very agitated and knew something was up with me. I felt so bad leaving him.

At the hospital, they checked me and I was 4.5cm dilated so I was admitted. I informed them of my intention to labor naturally and that I did not want an epidural. They pretty much left us alone in the delivery room for several hours while I worked through the contractions. The back labor was excruciating...and made it tough for me to labor in any position except standing up and leaning over something (the counter, the bed, Mark...whatever.) My contractions were still 2 minutes apart, which sucked because I never really got any breaks. By the time 7:30am rolled around, I couldn't stand it anymore. My feet were so swollen and throbbing from being on them for 10 hours straight. I told Mark to get the midwife to check me and I told myself that if I was 8cm or more, I would suck it up and stick to my natural birth plan but if I was less than 8cm, I was getting an epidural. Well, I was 6.5cm. I'm pretty sure I screamed at the midwife to get the anesthesiologist.

The first epi was a bust. Bad placement. It didn't work. Now, at this point I'm begging for relief, at least I think I was but it could have just been in my own head. The second placement was right on the money though and wow did it feel good! So from 8am-9:30am, Mark took a nap and I laid in bed listening to my labor playlist, singing along and feeling no pain. I honestly didn't think anything was happening because I felt nothing.   I was so shocked when after being checked at 9:30, I was told I was complete!

Since I was feeling nothing, they had me stop pushing my epi happy button so I could feel the pressure from the contractions and know when to push. We did some practice pushing from 10-11:30am and then the real pushing began. This is where it all gets a little fuzzy. I remember feeling pressure/pain and I remember there being several times where I doubted my ability to push him out. Two hours of pushing later though and there he was. I cried...it was such an emotional moment and I said "I did it, I did it!" Ethan was born at 1:22pm on July 24th and weighed in at 9lbs 1oz. The NICU team was there because he was late and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid when my water broke so I didn't get to hold him right away. I had some tearing so I got stitched up, E got checked out and then Mark got to hold him. It was so awesome seeing Mark hold our son for the first time. Words can not even describe what it was like. Once I was all stitched up, I got to hold my baby boy and we got some alone time, just the three of us for about an hour or so. It was so surreal and awesome.

If you got through all that, you deserve a cookie or something! I have lots and lots more to blog about, especially my thoughts on being a new Mom and breast feeding (which is btw, the hardest thing I have ever done and I was NOT prepared for that.) and how my little baby Gatsby is adjusting to the new little guy in the house. I'll save that for another post. I leave you with pics of E. He's pretty cute, if you ask me, but I think I am a little biased.

Just Born :)

Other Random Updates

I've been such an awful blogger lately. I wish I was better about taking my weekly bump photos and doing the weekly post but once third trimester hit, I just got so tired and everything sort of fell by the wayside. I'm trying to be better (see posts below.)

I figured I'd do a post of random other updates. No rhyme or reason to them, just little things that have been going on.

1) Our baby shower was on June 18th. Honestly, I was so overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends. Ethan got EVERYTHING he could possibly need. He got so much stuff and it was really fun. My Mom, Mother-in-Law and Aunts planned a beautiful, nautical themed shower at a place right on the Long Island Sound and it was just gorgeous with breathtaking views and really great food!

2) Mark and I did a DIY maternity photo shoot at the local park. It was fun, even though I kind of look like Shrek. Here are some of my favorite shots from the shoot:

3) My next door neighbor's daughter (and the mother of the adorable Kailyn, who my Mom used to babysit.) Recently had a baby boy, Tyler, in March and was thoughtful and generous enough to bring me 2 giant bags of baby clothes that her baby has outgrown. Some stuff still has the tags on! Ethan is soooo set clothes wise in the NB, 0-3 and 3-6 month size. One he hits 6-9 months, we might actually have to buy some stuff for him, but definitely not until then! I am making Kailyn and Tyler matching owl hats for the Fall as a thank you.

4) We are reconsidering Ethan's middle name. We still love Ethan Patrick. It flows so nicely. But Mark has brought up that he has been having second thoughts because he thinks maybe the middle name should be a family name. Ethan Mark is now in the running. We are going to decide for sure when he gets here.

5) The other day, Mark and I spent several hours on Etsy looking for the perfect monthly onesie stickers for Ethan. Surprisingly, Mark got very into this. His main criteria was that they were cute and that the images didn't repeat after a few months. It was adorable that he got so excited about it. We ended up going with farm animals:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/65010943/monthly-onesie-stickers-funny-farm-low

6) I flippin' love Pinterest. For those that don't know what Pinterest (www.pinterest.com) is, you NEED to know. It is an online corkboard. Kind of like a visual bookmark board. It is difficult for me to explain at this late hour. Just know that it is awesome. You need an invitation to get an account, otherwise you have to go on the waiting list, which I am told can take a while. I was lucky enough to get an invite. If you want to try pinterest out, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you one :)

A post for my pug

It is no secret how much Mark and I love our pug Gatsby. He is our baby and we love him unconditionally. I know that he loves us too, even though he can't tell us. The poor little guy has been really stressed for the past 2-ish months. He wants to be next to me 24/7. He also cries and gets anxious when I make any motion to leave the room we are in. The vet says that he smells/knows something is different/something is happening and it is stressing him out and to expect more of it in the first few weeks that the baby is here.

Mark and I are already mentally prepared for this. We know it will be an adjustment for Gatsby when Ethan comes home. We know he is going to be hyper. We know he is going to want to jump all over the baby in the first day or two and we know that he is going to have a little anxiety from the decrease in attention that he gets. We also know that he will adjust...and that he and Ethan will be BFF.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I am "worried about the dog and the baby" or something to that effect, I would have a great start to Ethan's college fund. I have been pretty cranky and blunt lately so I'll just tell you all this now: stop asking me. And when Ethan is here, please do not come and visit us and then get all anxious/nervous about things Gatsby related. You will make my dog have more stress and anxiety and it will not be appreciated in the critical first weeks when we are trying to acclimate him to this huge change in his home life. Gatsby will still be our baby...he will be our baby forever. He isn't some inconvenience or (as a woman in Petco said to me the other day) just a dog now.

Since Gatsby won't leave my side lately, I've been taking a lot of pictures of him, including a little 4th of July photo shoot at the local park. Here are some of my favorites:

39 Weeks

Baby's now the size of a watermelon!

Baby's brain is still developing rapidly, and his skin has taken on a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. (Don't worry; he'll change color again soon after birth.) He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips.

How Far Along? 39 weeks!!!!!

Total weight gain: +30 lbs on the dot

Maternity clothes? I wear a lot of summer dresses that I had from summers past. They are all empire waist and work with my bump.

Sleep: Sleep is interesting these days. I wake a lot because of Braxton Hicks contractions or to pee or because my hips or legs are aching and I need to change positions. The sleep I do get however, is such a deep restful sleep. Even though it stinks to not have a job right now, it is nice to take 1, sometimes 2 naps during the day, with Gatsby of course.

Best moment this week: Too many to name. Mark is being so awesome. I think he is nervous about labor and seeing me in pain/knowing what to do. He is the best husband. 

Food Cravings/Aversions: a few days ago, after not having much of an appetite for most of my pregnancy, I became a human vacuum. I can eat anything and crave everything.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Sometimes I miss sleeping on my stomach but usually nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: It is really hard not to be cranky with your loved ones when you feel cranky all the time. It has helped telling people like my Mom and Dad as a preface to any conversation that I am super cranky and if I say something bitchy to please ignore me. 

Milestones: None. Just waiting at this point.

33 weeks!

Baby's now the size of a honeydew!

Things are heating up inside as well: Baby may grow up to a full inch this week alone, and his brain is developing like crazy. Pretty soon, he'll be able to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing. Also, his bones are hardening, and he's started to keep his eyes open when he's awake.

How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain: +18 from where I started (based on last midwife appointment. I've probably gained a few more since then.)

Maternity clothes? For the most part. I ordered a dress from Target for my shower...hopefully it looks decent. We'll see when it gets here. I have to start getting some nursing stuff.

Sleep: I love sleep and can sleep anywhere but never for a long stretch of time because I always have to pee!

Best moment this week: I watched a video on youtube about a couple's struggle with infertility and it made me so grateful. I'll never forget where I came from, so to speak.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I am still a juice junkie, especially Apple & Eve's Mango Passion which they seem to only sell at BJ's. I also craved chocolate cake the other day which is odd for me. I am a yellow/white cake kind of girl.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Sometimes I miss sleeping on my stomach but usually nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I haven't been feeling very wise but I will say that this week I was reminded that it is the little things in life that make me happiest. 

Milestones: Braxton Hicks are starting up a little bit!

I think Ethan is having a growth spurt! Just for comparison, here is my bump at 30 weeks: 

And here it is at 33 weeks (please excuse my messy hair and red face...I just woke up from a nap! 

Much rounder right?

Remembering

Last night, after checking the weather and looking at the date, I realized in absolute horror that I had forgotten the 2nd anniversary of the day we lost our baby bean, our first pregnancy. Now, to someone who hasn't experienced this, it may seem like not much of a big deal but to me, it was devastating that I forgot because I promised that little one and myself that I never would. I never want to forget the one glorious month that I lived in pure ignorant bliss, so excited to be pregnant and feeling like everything was falling into place for Mark and I. In hind site, I was really naive...and our bad luck was just about to begin.

I know Mark didn't remember and I didn't say anything to him either. Even though I know he was so upset when we lost our baby, I just don't think that men feel it as deeply as women do. Our bodies physically expel our baby...it is so indescribable.

I felt pretty awful when I realized I forgot. Like a really bad Mom. I promised that baby when it left my body that I would never and could never replace them. It is so so hard for me when people ask me if this current pregnancy is my first baby. I always say yes, just because it is easier but in my mind I am screaming  NO! There was another baby and s/he was our first and I love that baby so so much that it hurts.

So in remembrance of baby bean, here is everything I have...everything I know and never want to forget:

I am pretty sure Mark and I made baby bean the night of my Sister-in-law Marcia's 25th birthday party. Here we are...blissful newlyweds (and very drunk:)

I found out I was pregnant on April 27, 2009. Here is the pregnancy test I took that day:

When I was around 6 weeks pregnant, we went on an already planned trip to the Dominican Republic. In the back of my mind, I have always blamed the trip for taking my baby...the pressure of the plane ride or the foreign food. All the doctors told me that was nonsense and that these things just happen but I think I just looked for answers. Here we are all tanned and happy:

I started spotting the day after we got back from that trip. A few days later, ultrasound confirmed that our little blob on the screen had no heartbeat...and that it was over. I should have asked for a printout of that ultrasound. It didn't occur to me at the time to ask for it but I wish I did. It was a gorgeous May day on Long Island and Mark was home from work so we decided to spend the day in the yard with Gatsby. I popped a few hydrocodone I had left over from getting my wisdom teeth pulled and passed out on the hammock but before I did, I gave Mark my camera and told him to take pictures of me and us. I knew I would want to remember. Here are 2 of them:

I feel better thinking about that time and looking at the pics. If there is such a thing as a soul or a spirit and the spirit of our baby is out there somewhere, I want him or her to know that I didn't forget and I can never ever replace them. Sorry for the depressing post...I just needed to get it out.

29 Weeks

Baby's now the size of a squash!
Baby's energy is surging, thanks to white fat depositing beneath his skin. And since he's growing so fast (weight will triple by birth), things are getting kind of cramped in the womb. What all this means for you: Get ready for some more kicks and jabs to the ribs.

How far along? 29 weeks

Total weight gain: +18 from where I started.

Maternity clothes? of course...needing some summer stuff I think. Maybe 1 pair of shorts and 1 pair of capris

Sleep: Mark and I got a new bed and mattress and sleep has been so much better since then! I do wake up 2x a night to pee though.

Best moment this week: my belly now moves..on the outside. Weird and fun!

Food Cravings/Aversions: Juice. Any kind of juice.

Gender: It's a boy!

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I miss: Nothing.

Weekly Wisdom: I have to watch myself...I am getting..um...cranky and very very emotional. Mark didn't go to the store on his way home one night to get me juicy juice and I started crying so it is obviously hormonal because it is completely irrational.

Milestones: Third Trimester!

Win a $150 Charlie Banana gift card from Natural Mommie

I keep seeing more and more talk in the cloth diapering world about Charlie Banana

They are hybrid diapers which means you can use the washable insert that they come with or use disposable inserts to make clean up easier. I discovered an awesome blog: Natural Mommie gave them a great review and is giving away a $150 gift card. Awesome. Check out This Post on Natural Mommie for more details.